Page 5 of The Bookshop By the Loch

I nodded and dabbed at my eyes with a clean hankie Grandpa had just handed me.

Mum’s expression stiffened even more. “Still, with your experience and your ability, if you feel scunnered by the way they’ve treated you – I know I do – you should have no problem getting a position with another publisher.”

My heart hammered in my ears. Saying the words out loud sounded alien – like it was someone else speaking. “Right now, Mum, I don’t know if I ever want to go back to publishing, let alone Literati, but I love what I do so much. That’s why this has come as such a kick in the teeth.”

She raised her brows in surprise. “But… but I don’t understand? That is all you’ve ever wanted to do, sweetheart.”

“I know, Mum, but I had my heart set on that position. I’d been led to believe it was mine.” I rubbed at my face. “I put my life on hold for Literati. I gave so much of myself to them and this is how they’ve repaid me. I don’t know that I’m prepared to do that again.”

She frowned. Then a sudden helplessness took over her features. “I just want you to be happy, love.”

I leant over and squeezed her hand. “I know you do, Mum. I’m not sure what else I would do instead, though. If I did decide not to go back to Literati, I suppose I could offer freelance editorial services. That would bring in some extra income.”

Mum mulled this over. “Well, you would need to think about your finances. What about your flat in Glasgow? What would you do about that?”

As I continued to sit there, thoughts tumbled through my head. God. There would be so many decisions to make. “I’m renting it out for the three months I’m here, to bring in some extra income and I still have Grandma’s inheritance put aside.”

Grandpa digested this for a few seconds and then gave me a confident nod. “Well, you know your own mind. In the meantime, don’t make any decisions on anything. You’ll know soon enough what you want to do.”

I bent forward and gently clasped his weathered hands in mine, so grateful for his optimism. “I wish I had your confidence.”

He gave a small smile. “You need time, lass. You don’t know where you are right now or what you want. But you will.”

Grandpa moved to speak again, but Mum got there first. “But what will you do, if you do decide you aren’t going back?”

Maisie Dunbar could make worrying an Olympic sport. “Try not to fret, Mum. I’ll just have to think about my options.”

“Well, like I said, no making any decisions on your future right now,” advised my grandfather, giving Mum a charged look. “You’re still very upset.”

I nodded, fixing a smile as Grandpa suggested that Mum put the kettle on.

She surveyed us both, sighed and vanished into the kitchen.

Once she was out of earshot, he lowered his voice to a whisper. “Once your mother has a cuppa and a biscuit, she’ll be calmer and not quite as likely to want to go and rip the head off that boss of yours.”

“It’s going to take more than a cup of tea and a chocolate digestive to stop her worrying.”

Grandpa nodded his head. “Och, like I said. A bump in the road, little dove. A bump in the road.”

My heart constricted at hearing him call me what he had always called me since I was small, after we discovered an injured dove near the loch and fearing for its safety, we brought it home and nursed it back to health. I planted an affectionate kiss on his cheek.

Then I made my way through to the kitchen.

Mum was clattering around with the jar of tea bags. In the sitting room, my grandfather had switched on the TV for the lunchtime news. He had cranked up the volume, which made Mum pull a disapproving face. “I’m surprised they can’t hear that television set in Dundee.”

She opened the bread bin next and stashed a new pumpkin and sesame seeded loaf inside. “Lunch will be ready in a little while.”

“Thanks, Mum.” I tried to gather my resolve. “Promise me you won’t worry. I know what you’re like. I just need some time.”

Mum swung round to face me. “Why didn’t you tell us last week, Lexie? You phoned but never said a word about the real reason for all this time off.”

“I thought it might be easier telling you and Grandpa face to face. I’m fine.”

She picked up the kettle and moved to fill it from the tap. “You’re not fine…”

“Maise! Maisie! Lexie! Get through here!” Grandpa’s voice erupted from the sitting room.

Mum and I exchanged worried glances as she dumped the kettle by the sink and we both took off together back towards the sitting room.