Page 51 of The Bookshop By the Loch

I rubbed at my face. “Yes, alright. I’ll talk to Mum, but like I said, Dad, we can’t just erase the past and act like nothing ever happened.”

“I know. I know. Thank you.” There was a hint of relief in his eyes. “Can you call me after you’ve spoken to her?”

“I’m closing the shop at four o’clock today, so I’ll speak to her after that.”

“Thank you. I do appreciate this, Lexie.”

“Well, please don’t get your hopes up or assume anything yet.”

“I won’t. But if there’s a chance – even a small one – then it’s better than nothing.”

My eyes followed my father as he gave a stilted nod and left Book Ends.

My head felt like it was swimming with too many thoughts. I straightened up some of the books, even though they didn’t need straightening. Behind me, the shop doorbell dinged.

I turned, wondering if it was my father again, but it was Tobias. Gone was the smart, fitted shirt and satin blue waistcoat from yesterday. In its place, was a tight black T-shirt that sculpted his biceps and dark combat trousers. He hesitated in the doorway. “Did I just see your dad leaving?”

“Yes. He decided to drop by again.”

“Ok.” Tobias looked at me. “He doesn’t give up; I’ll say that for him. He reminds me of someone else I know.”

I made a weird puffing noise. “I can’t think who you mean.”

Tobias angled his head. “So, your dad?”

“It’s as I thought. He wants to make amends.”

Tobias made sure the shop door closed behind him. He ambled over. “And what do you think about that?”

I picked at a groove in the counter wood. “I don’t know. Would he have come back here to Bracken Way and asked for forgiveness if he hadn’t found out he was ill?”

Now it was the turn of Tobias to make an agonised noise. “That’s the million-dollar question and only your dad knows the answer to that one.”

“Yes, but I suspect I do too.”

Tobias studied me. “In the scheme of things, does it really matter why he came back? The fact is, he did.”

He moved towards Mirror Image and began switching on the spotlights above his artwork, illuminating the various expressions of the myriad of people he’d captured on canvas. “I suppose the real question is, whether you and your mum are prepared to or feel capable of forgiving him.”

I moved over to another of the bookcases and shuffled around a couple of biographies. “He hasn’t been a part of my life for twenty-three years, Tobias. He was the one who chose to walk out on us. He put his career ahead of his family.”

“And now that he’s faced with his own mortality, he’s sat there, thinking about the mistakes he’s made in his life and how he can put at least some of them right.”

I crinkled my nose up. “When did you become so wise?”

Tobias let out a peel of laughter. “You wouldn’t say that if I told you about the mistakes I’d made in my life.”

“Oh, yes? Like what?”

He flexed a brow and diverted the conversation back to my dad. “So do you think your mum will hear him out?”

I threw up my hands. “Right now, I’ve no idea. My head feels scrambled.” I pointed to my forehead. “This is telling me one thing.” I gestured to my heart. “And this is telling me something else.”

Tobias nodded. “I can understand that. What do you think your mum will want to do?”

I pushed and pulled a couple more books around on the shelf in front of me. “I think I can guess. She’ll make a few noises, but she still loves him.”

I returned to thinking about the shock clouding in her eyes and could still hear the disbelieving gasp escaping from her chest, when she saw Dad appear on TV that lunchtime a few weeks ago.