Page 71 of The Bookshop By the Loch

“She had no alternative, Dad. She had to do it on her own. If it hadn’t been for Grandpa and Grandma Pattie, I don’t know what she would have done.” I threw him a look. “What we would have done.”

Dad made a desperate sighing noise. “I know. All the more reason to tell your mum how sorry I am and how much I regret what I did. To both of you.”

“You met up with your dad? When?”

“Just now, Mum. Up by the castle.”

Mum’s jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to see him?”

I toyed with one of my earrings. “Because I didn’t want to upset you and I wasn’t sure what you’d think or how you’d react. And I wanted to hear him out first.” I paused. “He wants to talk to you. He wants to explain and apologise.”

Mum paced up and down her sitting room. She crossed and uncrossed her arms. “I don’t know, Lexie. I know he’s ill and I feel for him, but opening up old wounds after twenty-three years. Will it achieve anything?”

My grandfather, reposing in his chair, sat forward. “Och, Maisie, you have to do what you feel is right. I’ve no time for Niall Dunbar, after the way he treated you and Lexie, but if you refuse to speak with him and he returns to the States, it’s likely you won’t see him again.” He let his words hang there, the inference clear. “Could you deal with that? Is that what you want?”

Mum hugged herself in the middle of her spotless sitting room. It smelled of apple furniture polish. “Oh God. I don’t know what I want or what to think right now. Would he have given us a second thought if he hadn’t been diagnosed with dementia?”

“I asked him the very same thing, Mum.”

“And?”

“He said finding out about his illness has given him some much-needed clarity, put it that way.”

She spun out and towards the kitchen. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t.” She rubbed at her arms. “I’ve spent years trying to put him behind me and now he comes back and drags it all up again.” She paced up and down on the kitchen linoleum. “I don’t know if I want to revisit those memories anymore.”

I followed her and lowered my voice. “Even after telling me you’re still in love with him?”

Her dark blue eyes sparkled with emotion. “Especially because of that.”

I stayed with Mum and Grandpa for a cup of tea, before insisting that today’s events were catching up with me and I would go up to my bedroom.

I also explained to them that I had a new recruit coming to work part-time in Book Ends, a very pleasant stay-at-home husband and former English teacher, Daryl Hughes.

“Good,” said Mum, pursing her lips. “The more, the merrier. You’re run ragged in that shop.”

I almost laughed at Mum’s dramatic tone. “I’m not run ragged, Mum. I’ve got Chloe in full-time with me, which is a great help, but having Daryl in a few hours here and there will be an added bonus.”

“Well, you can see you’ve lost a few pounds, sweetheart. It’s probably all that walking and carrying books.”

With Mum’s advice to eat a proper breakfast ringing in my ears, I got ready for bed, exhausted and not even able to second-guess what Mum wanted to do or would do about my dad. It was a tangled mess and I could see she was trapped between what she wanted to do and what she thought she should do. It would’ve been easier if she still didn’t love him, but I didn’t point that out.

The orange street lamps glowed against my curtains as I clambered into bed with Celeste’s manuscript. I was keen to press on and read it, making notes on structure as I went. I was aware of Celeste’s situation and that was pushing me to make swift progress with it. I needed a distraction and some escapism from the real world for a while too.

I untied the lace ribbon, placed it on my beside cabinet and began to read, only for my mobile to ping on my bedspread. It was a text from Tobias:

Hope everything went ok with your dad tonight. Was thinking about you this evening.

I blinked down at the message. He’d been thinking about me this evening? Oh, he meant because of the situation with our respective fathers, I reasoned quickly. Don’t you dare read anything more into it than that.

His message ended:

Anyway, see you tomorrow. Tobias x

My attention was drawn to the kiss.

I stared down at the “x” far longer than I should have done.

I chewed over what I should say in reply and came up with something, after a few attempts and deletes: