Page 106 of A Scottish Island Summer

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I mooched around Portree main street for the rest of the day, lost in my own thoughts.

The only bright spot was when Iona rang me to thank me for bringing her and Robbie together. ‘We’re taking things slow,’ she told me down the phone, her voice carrying a happy lightness. ‘But thank you for what you did. I never realised what a funny and amazing man he is!’

‘Sometimes, it can take a while before you appreciate what you’ve got or could have.’ I blinked away painful thoughts of Logan.

Julie and Kathleen gave me tea and shortbread when I returned (evidently, they could tell I was off-colour without me needing to say a word) but I didn’t want to talk about it.

It was all my own doing.

I felt too ashamed. Too shabby and deceitful.

Campbell vanished too. No doubt he thought I was every bit as untrustworthy as Logan did.

The realisation that Logan was viewing me as some sly, attention-seeker was sending my heart into free fall.

Hurt jabbed at me over and over. I couldn’t care less about social media engagement or River being invited onto the special Christmas episode of Let’s Dance. I didn’t care about being asked to promote the latest spa break in Dubai or the invitation to visit a cowboy ranch hotel in Texas.

Everything felt as though it didn’t matter anymore. It was as if I’d been living in a bit of a daze, not appreciating life, and then suddenly, the wrapping paper had been torn off this amazing gift and I was able to appreciate it for what it really was. My life had been injected with colour, sound and experiences, all thanks to Logan.

And I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to be back dancing with him, under the stars, with the woodsmoke and the crackle of the bonfire.

But Logan wanted nothing more to do with me.

I buried my face in my hands.

In a week I’d be flying back to London, leaving Skye and Logan behind, and his lasting memory of me would be one of a self-absorbed liar with no moral compass. Someone who only cared about her social media likes and her own self-interest.

That was who I’d once been, it was true.

But I wasn’t like that anymore.

And that change in me—that awakening—had been down to Logan. He and this gorgeous, atmospheric island had helped me discover a new side of myself. One I’d really come to like.

Yes, Skye had wormed its way into my heart. It had made me realise there was something true and beautiful that had been missing from my life.

After I’d lost my parents, I closed myself off, convinced that I could keep everything and everyone at arm’s length, apart from my aunt and uncle. I made the decision to throw everything I had at my career, determined to take every opportunity that came my way because then I wouldn’t need anything else … or anyone.

But life doesn’t work that way.

It turned out to be the best thing for me, being despatched here to Skye. I’d been forced to open myself up to a very different life and come to appreciate what it had to offer.

A dark thought crept into my head as tears stung my eyes. Maybe I should call it a day now and return to London a week early. I’d gathered lots of material for my travel guide already, thanks to Logan, so what was the point of staying here any longer and subjecting myself to more misery? Because I already knew that not seeing Logan would be torture. But if I did pack up and head home now though, wouldn’t that compound what he thought of me?

After leaving a verbal tirade on Justine’s voicemail, telling her just what I thought about her arranging that post, I grabbed my pillow and hugged it as tears began to crawl down my face.

No, I couldn’t leave. I wouldn’t.

I had to try and put things right. But how?

Even though Logan had made it clear he didn’t want anything else to do with me, there must be something I could do to make amends, or to at least try to explain my stupid actions.

I pushed myself more upright on top of my bed as ideas tumbled through my mind.

I owed it to Logan and Campbell to try and make this right. But what could I do? What should I do, to show them how sorry I was?

More thoughts crowded in my head and a nagging voice got louder.