Page 104 of Journey to the Scottish Highlands

I moved to speak, but Evan cut in. ‘Oh, and I’m not, by the way. Seeing her, I mean.’

I hated this. I didn’t feel like I was in control of my thoughts whenever Evan was around. Or in control of anything else, for that matter. His words pinged in my head. ‘But the other day,’ I struggled. ‘When you went out, all dressed up.’

Evan screwed up his eyes in thought. His face cleared. ‘I wasn’t going out with Sacha. I was off to meet up with one of my old journalism lecturers, Martin Campbell. I wanted his advice on a piece about dementia that I’m pitching to one of the national newspapers.’ Evan eyed me. ‘I’ve kept in touch with him ever since I graduated.’

Shame gripped me. Why did this man have the ability to turn me into a green-eyed, emotional goblin?

‘I insisted on taking Martin and his wife Polly out for dinner, as it was his sixty-fifth birthday last week.’

I’d assumed wrong. I wanted to disappear into the floor. ‘Right. I see. But, like I said, none of my business.’

I was still in his bedroom. It was like I was juggling fire. His expression was focused; intense. It was like there was nothing else in the world right now except for me. I was fighting not to mention Sacha again, but I couldn’t help it. ‘But the gig? Dane’s gig? You left with her.’

Without saying a word, Evan took a couple more deliberate steps closer. I could make out the brush of his dark stubble. ‘I’m surprised you noticed. You seemed too preoccupied with my baby brother to see what I was doing.’

I let out a shaky laugh. ‘Now who sounds jealous?’

When Evan didn’t respond, I wrapped my arms around myself as though it might offer some protection.

Finally, he spoke. ‘Yes, ok. I did leave the gig with Sacha, but not for the reasons you might think.’

I trained my attention everywhere in his room but at him. From his open, whirring laptop to the long, swishy drapes at his bedroom window, and then to the Brentford FC mug sat on his writing desk. It was half-filled with cold coffee.

This was excruciating. It was like I had this wound, and I couldn’t stop myself from prodding it and aggravating it. Part of me wished that Evan, in his sharp, sophisticated suit, had never interfered that day with my exchanges with Fox so I wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

Evan’s rumbly voice dragged me back. ‘If you must know, Sacha told me that night that she had an interesting lead on a story which she wanted to run past me, but as soon as we left the pub, she confessed she’d lied and there was no story.’

I had my suspicions about her motives but still asked the question. ‘Why?’

‘She admitted that she’d used it as a ruse. She wanted to give our relationship another go.’

I swallowed a weird-shaped lump back in my throat. ‘Oh, I see.’

‘No, Daisy. You don’t see.’ Evan moved even closer to me. I couldn’t help but notice the sweep of his nose and the way his full lips were parted ever-so-slightly. ‘She said she’d quit her job at the local radio station and move down to London to be with me.’

Something was trapping the breath in my chest. My emotions were a snake coiled around me in a vice-like grip. ‘And what did you say?’

Evan shrugged. ‘I told her the truth. We split up two years ago, and I’ve moved on.’ He considered what he was going to say next. ‘Yes, I was in love with her, and I was heartbroken when we parted ways, but all that’s in the past now.’ His eyes levelled with mine. ‘She’s in my past.’

My skittering emotions were like marbles dropped all over the floor. I’d promised myself that I could handle Evan. My acting career would be my sole focus. I didn’t need to be left with my heart shattered into a million pieces again, desperately trying to patch it up. Securing the acting roles I wanted was my only aim in life. I almost laughed as I turned all this over and over in my addled head. And how is that working out for you, Daisy?

I couldn’t prevent the next question from flying out of my mouth at a rate of knots. ‘Do you mind if I ask what happened between you and Sacha? Why did you break up?’

Evan’s mouth hardened. ‘Dane.’

I gasped. ‘Dane? Sacha didn’t sleep with him, did she?’

‘No, but it looked like it could’ve headed that way. There were lots of flirty smiles and banter between the two of them. She changed whenever she was around him.’

‘In what way?’ I asked, puzzled as to how any woman would be tempted to cheat on someone like Evan. Yes, Dane was attractive, but he didn’t have his older brother’s presence or witty personality.

Evan flipped back his hair. ‘Oh, she’d suddenly turn showy and loud whenever he was around, which wasn’t her at all. I think she thought she was impressing him.’ He smiled. ‘I think, compared to my rocker younger brother, Sacha came to the conclusion that I was rather boring.’

‘You’re not boring!’ I erupted. ‘Far from it. I’m sorry to say this about Dane, but he does come across as rather self-absorbed.’

Evan flashed his white teeth. I noticed he had pronounced canines, which added to his wolfish exterior. ‘There’s no “comes across” about it. He is self-absorbed. I love him. He’s my brother. But he can be a right feckless knob a lot of the time.’ He gave a resigned shrug. ‘I think Sacha sees that now. She realises she made a right mess of everything, and that’s why she wanted us to start over.’

Along the upstairs landing, I could hear my grandpa fiddling around in his bedroom with the digital radio.