Page 112 of Journey to the Scottish Highlands

Evan hauled a frustrated hand down his stubbly face. ‘Like I just told you, I thought you were gorgeous the first time I saw you at the birthday lunch. Then on our road trip back to Scotland I became more and more fascinated by you.’ His face was pale and beseeching. ‘When you told me who you were, yes, I admit I felt awful about what I’d written. I could see what effect it’d had on you, and I hated myself.’ His voice was growing more and more impassioned. ‘But that had nothing to do with what happened between us just now. As I got to know you more, I knew I was beginning to fall for you.’

I shook my head. ‘If you keep telling yourself that often enough, you might start to believe it.’

‘It’s true.’ He raised his eyes to his bedroom ceiling. ‘You’ve been driving me to distraction, Daisy. When I realised who you were, I felt rotten about what I’d said – what Fox had said – about the TV series you were in. And then I got to know you, and by then…’

‘By then what?’

‘By then, I wanted to tell you who I really was, but I just couldn’t do it.’ He dropped his head to the carpet. ‘I was on the brink a couple of times, but in the end, I didn’t have the guts. I was terrified you’d hate me.’

I was struggling to stop the lump in my throat. ‘I don’t hate you.’ My chest ached. ‘I hate myself. I hate me for allowing myself to get used like this.’

‘I didn’t use you, Daisy. Please believe that.’ Evan’s voice was heavy and dark. ‘You’ve got it wrong. You have no idea how I feel about you. When I thought you were interested in Dane, and I saw him flirting with you, it was like a punch to the gut.’ He looked like his emotions were tumbling down around him, swamping him, and he couldn’t get his head above water. Mine had already done that.

‘That’s why I seemed a bit distracted or off sometimes, and I didn’t mean to be,’ he said. ‘I was carrying this guilt around with me about being Fox, and you were here, being so lovely, considerate and kind, and that made me feel like even more of a bastard.’

My voice was confused and strangulated. ‘That idiot at the lunch; the one I thought was Fox.’

‘I think he was trying to impress the girl in the red dress. I overheard her saying she wanted to be a film critic.’ Evan looked pained. ‘He kept trying to catch her eye, and I think he thought somehow that being a bullish, loud-mouthed sod and pretending to be Fox might work.’

My head was struggling to process any of this.

‘Daisy, hear me out. Please. I know I’ve cocked everything up, but I know how I feel about you.’

But I wasn’t listening. I was already pushing past him, my sundress clinging to me and my mind reeling. ‘I’ll stay on just long enough to help get the first tour event up and running. I promised I would.’ My head was spinning. ‘Thank goodness it’s only a few more days. Then Grandpa and I will be gone. And do you know what? I can’t wait.’

I wheeled away and across the upstairs landing towards my bedroom. ‘I’m not letting down your parents or Cayla. They don’t deserve that, even though you’ve proven yourself to be an utter bastard.’ I let out a dry laugh. ‘And to think you have the audacity to call Dane self-absorbed.’

I dashed away a couple of tears with the back of my hand.

I wanted to let them course down my face and scream with frustration at how stupid I’d been. How could I have let things get to this point? I knew I should never have let my heart rule my head. Hadn’t Leon taught me anything? I’d been so blinded by Evan that I didn’t think for one second that he’d deceive me the way Leon had. I would never have imagined Evan capable. I bit my bottom lip to try and stop myself from dissolving into a torrent of tears.

Evan lingered a few feet away from me looking wretched.

All I wanted to do was lock the door, crawl under the bedcovers and mentally torture myself as to how I could have been so naïve. ‘At least Dane doesn’t try to pretend to be something he isn’t.’

I grabbed the handle of my bedroom door, yanked it open and stepped inside. I banged it closed behind me. I could hear Evan calling my name from the other side, desperation in his voice. ‘I deserve this and more, Daisy. But you have to believe me. I’ve fallen for you. Please. Open the door.’

I was emotionally spent. Hollowed out.

Evan had made me think he was someone else, when all the time he was Fox.

I threw myself on top of my bed.

Evan called out to me again. ‘Daisy. Please. Let me in. Just hear me out.’

‘Go away,’ I choked. ‘I don’t want to speak to you.’

After a few more moments, I heard his dejected feet moving away back to his own room and him clicking the door closed.

That was when the torrent of tears broke through.

And as I lay on the bed, curled up with my fists bawled into my streaming eyes, I wished I had never met Evan.

* * *

‘It’s such a mess,’ I sobbed down the phone to a stunned Jade an hour later.

‘What is, Daisy? What’s going on?’