Page 51 of I’ll Find You

I hang one carefully, my fingers brushing against his as he steadies the branch. I’m careful to hook it just right, watching it dangle there perfectly.

“You’re quiet,” he says softly.

I glance up at him, still wrapped up in my thoughts. “Just taking it all in,” I lie, stepping back to admire the almost finished tree, but the lie tastes bitter on my tongue. I wish my aunt were here, and I think that's what's making me feel sad. Something important is missing.

I look over to see Ezra’s mom, Evie, watching me as she sips her shot of tequila, licking her lips after the salted rim leaves the remnants of the coarse crystals on her red gloss. She’s pretty scary. I wonder if she can see into your soul. And more importantly, I wonder what she sees when she looks into mine.

His expression softens. “Get used to it.” The words hit their mark, as I look up at him, finding him smirking at me. “Every year,” he emphasizes it as something that we’ll do together. Traditions I never got to make, yet I’m finally doing it in my mid-twenties. Better late than never, I guess.

The lights on the tree come to life, casting a soft glow across the room that reflects in the glass ornaments and the eyes of the people standing around it. For a moment, I don’t feel like an outsider, but part of something. Included in this family. Chosen by him. And as Alex’s arm slides around my waist, pulling me into his side, I lean into him without thinking. Because maybe, just maybe, this is what home is supposed to feel like.

As Dr. Flores places the star atop the tree, we all gather around looking at it. A peace settles around me as I recall a memory of my aunt lifting me up to do the same thing, only with an angel.

I remember telling her it was my mom looking over us as I placed it on top. Every year after that, she'd announce she had something in her eye and would be right back. I didn't understand it then. Later, I realized she had been crying. As I’m lost in my thoughts of her, a honk sounds from outside, and Dani looks over to Vic.

“Are we expecting anyone else, Alex?” I ask, and he just shrugs with a mischievous grin on his face.

He rubs slow circles over the back of my hand, looking every bit like a little kid waiting to tear into a Christmas present. “I guess we’ll find out,” he says, waggling his eyebrows at me, and it’s the most ridiculous sight I’ve ever seen, and endearing all the same. Conversations continue, but now they are hushed as if they, too, are holding their breath to see who is at the door. I look around, and they all take glances at me, privy to a secret I’m not.

Dani steps forward, moving to answer the door. When it happens, I hear a familiar voice calling my name before I see her.

“Rose?” My name lands softly amid the conversation, but it cuts through it all. I freeze because I know that voice. I turn slowly, my heart already climbing into my throat before I even see her.

“Aunt Julia?”

She’s standing there in the doorway, a little windblown, a little out of place in the idleness of the polished space, clad in her jeans, boots, and that familiar, worn jacket. Behind her, through the open door, I catch a glimpse of it. The RV. It’s parked at the curb like it doesn’t belong there, but she couldn’t care less, and neither do I.

“What are you doing here?” I breathe, already moving toward her before she can answer. She laughs softly, opening her arms as I fall into them.

“I was supposed to be halfway to Arizona by now,” she says into my hair as a man steps through the doorway. I pull back, searching her face. “You said you were going with⁠—”

She turns and extends her hand out. The man walks in, waving to everyone with a “Howdy,” as he moves through the group of strangers who are all watching him.

“Yeah,” she cuts in gently, a knowing look passing over her features. “This is Adam. Adam, come meet my little girl, Rosie.”

He extends his hand with a chuckle. “Nice to meet you, Rosie.” He shakes my hand as Alex steps next to me.

“Nice to finally meet you, Adam.” I look at my auntie, introducing her to my boyfriend.

“Alex,” he says, pulling my auntie into a hug and shaking Adam’s hand. “Glad you could make it,” he says knowingly.

“You knew about this?” I ask incredulously that he could’ve kept something so important from me. He gives me a pouty look as Dani and Vic come up beside me. Dani pulls Julia into a hug, and when they part, Victor wraps Julia in one of his own.

“Thanks so much for calling me and telling me Rosie was here.” She gives them a small smile. Alex’s parents take her into the fold and introduce her to everyone.

“She raised me,” I say, as he steps closer, never far from my side. Understanding dawns on him immediately. He looks at her and then back at me again. I notice then that the space between who I was and who I’m becoming closes just a fraction. Two separate pieces of my life have finally found a way to exist in the same room without pulling me apart. My past blends with my present. For a moment, I can visualize my future with a certainty I hadn’t before, and for once, I look forward to it.

Behind us, laughter rises again, the cousins already pulling my auntie into their chaos like she’s always been here. Alex’s hand finds mine. He holds it, giving it a firm squeeze. I look at him, and his eyes find mine as we stand there staring at one another. The chatter fades, and it's just us, standing with the people who choose me and the ones who never stopped. In this moment, it feels less about finding a place where I fit in, and more about finding where I belong.

Chapter

Thirty

Rose

By the time we make it back to the townhouse in New Hampshire, it doesn’t feel like I’m stepping into his space anymore—it feels like I’m walking into ours. Our little tree rests on top of the island, just as we left it. We set our presents beneath it, tucking them carefully under the sparse branches of our Charlie Brown tree, dressed in a few strands of tinsel and a simple garland of popcorn and cranberries. A foil star, wrapped around a piece of cardboard, sits slightly crooked at the top. And somehow, it’s the most beautiful tree I’ve ever seen.

It’s New Year’s Eve.