Page 147 of The Quiet Witness

He stopped.

“Yes, I am afraid of you! Every second of every day. I try so hard to stay strong, to forget what you do, to forgot how impossible this—,” She gestured wildly between them. “—whatever this is.” She drew in a shaky breath, voice cracking. “Sometimes I forget to breathe when you’re near, when I’m reminded of the strength that can kill me in a heartbeat. At your whim! Like when we fought back at the house, we both know if you make up your mind… I’m done for.”

Hurt flashed across his face as she spewed out what had been resting on her mind for so long. And his eyes, they fixated on her fingers, where they dug into the wall for support.

Her final hold over reality.

They raised towards her now, the green all that she could see while he closed in. Taking away the space between them, he braced both arms on either side of her, ignoring the way she shifted even deeper against the wall. Please, ground, swallow me whole.

Locked into place, she heard a sigh slip from his lips, watched as his shoulders slumped forward. Looking for once like he wasn’t larger than life.

The closeness made her breath hitch, she wanted to look away but the hold he had over her was… unparalleled.

I’ve let him get too close.

It was too late. Her knees went weak, threatening to buckle out beneath her as his face hovered inches away from her own. Her heartbeat ramped up ever more, the rush of blood so loud she swore he could hear it. Gently he moved in, resting his forehead against hers.

Her breathing hitched once more, then deepened, as it had time and time again. Her instinct, fear, her past. Everything told her to put distance between them.

She didn’t.

For her treacherous heart told her to stay put. Her body betraying every one of her thoughts under his searching gaze. Lucien raised one hand, bracing on the other to stroke a testing finger down her arm.

“Fear is…” He swallowed. “Such a bad advisor. Can make us oblivious to what is right in front of us.”

She sighed, tension slithering away from her under his touch.

Taking it as a yes, Kate felt both his hands settle around her upper arms, where he started drawing soothing circles. So gentle, so patient and oh, so familiar.

Her unshed tears brimmed up and slid past her reddened cheeks. Unheard but not unseen. She forced her attention to the ground, watching as they fell. The drops shimmered in and out of view. Lucien’s temple moved away from hers, and she nearly reached for him.

But he didn’t leave her, instead his warm thumb brushed up against her cheeks, caressing the tears away before grazing over her neck, softly tilting up her chin so she couldn’t do anything but hold his gaze. “Don’t ever look away from me, sweetheart.” His tone deepened. “You’re the only one who never looked away.”

Not from him, not from his past.

“I promise I will never jeopardize your safety. No matter what happens, I’d rather face my end than give you up. That said…”

He heaved a deep, exhausted sigh. “If the fear you feel becomes too much, after all I’ve tried to do, to show you. To ease that fear. ” He eased away another tear. “Then I won’t stop you. If you want to leave.” Grief shone in his eyes, genuine, heart-wrenching grief. “Then you are free to do so.”

Chapter 63

Truth and Nothing But the Truth

“What?” The blood drained away from her cheeks, off-balance, she reached for him, but he held her up, as easy as he always had. He’s letting me go?

He didn’t give her time to think, guiding her hand to settle over his heart. The rapid beat thrummed underneath her fingers. “This is what I feel for you. I can’t explain it. We both know I didn’t mean for it to happen. But it did. And hell,” he sighed, the hesitation evident in his voice. “If you don’t feel the same, I won’t blame you. But you needed to know. If only to tell you I would do everything for you. To keep you safe. It’s all I’ve been doing.”

“Then w-why lie?” She couldn’t keep the hurt from seeping into her tone.

“I didn’t want you to feel like… prey.”

Prey. In the woods that night, she had mentioned feeling like prey. And he had remembered. Of course he had.

“And the things I did to keep you safe. They will haunt me for as long as I live.” He tipped his head up, intent on picking up her expression. “But I know my reasons for it. And I won’t regret it because it had to happen.”

Haunt him. What had he done to keep her safe?

“What…” She cleared her throat. “What did you do?”