Page 25 of End Of Never

Chapter 23

Lilla

When I get to Hayden’s dad’s house, I give the door a knock before turning the knob and heading inside. The house is clean, and smells like Bath and Body Works candles. Stepping into the living room, the couch and the chair are empty, as well as the kitchen. “Mr. Wilder?” I holler through the empty house. I check the bathroom and the side rooms until I reach the last door on the left, which is slightly open, and I see him lying in his bed. “Mr. Wilder? I’m Lilla, a friend of your sons. He sent me to check on you.” He rolls over, opening his big brown eyes.

“Hello, sorry, I just needed to lie down for a bit, and it turned into half the day.” When he gets up, he looks down at his sleep shorts to find them soiled. He looks at me with sheer embarrassment.

“No worries, let's get you up, and while you take a shower, I’ll take care of the bed.” I give him a sweet smile as I help him into his bathroom. Thankfully, he has a walk-in shower with a railing and a seat. “It’s nothing to worry about. If you need help, holler; otherwise, I'll be right outside the door.” I turn on the shower, then step out to give him privacy.

I step out into the hallway to call Jace. His line rings once before he answers. I can tell he was worried about him. “Hey, he’s okay, he was just sleeping. Can you ask Hayden where he keeps the clean bedding?” I listen as Jace asks Hayden, and immediately they both ask me what happened. “Nothing, he is perfectly fine. He just slept a little too long and had a little accident. Don’t worry about it, and don’t you dare bring it up to him; he's already embarrassed. I’m going to wash his bedding and make the bed. He’s in the shower now, getting freshened up. I don't have anything major at work today; my assistants can manage. I'll stay with him until you guys are done.”

I can feel the relief in Hayden’s breath, and his words hold so much appreciation. “Thank you, Lilla, I owe you.”

“No problem. See you guys soon.” I end the call before Jace can start in and head to where Hayden said he keeps extra bedding.

By the time I'm done getting the bedding in the washer and his bed redressed, I hear the shower turn off.

Mr. Wilder steps out of the bathroom looking good as new. “Why don’t we find you something to eat?” He leads the way to the kitchen.

“I'm sorry we had to meet like that. You must be Lilla?” His eyes grow wide.

“That would be me, and please don't worry about it, I'm happy to help Hayden out.” I start looking through his fridge to find him some lunch.

“I know he appreciates it, we all do. Usually, Jace is my sitter while Hayden is at work, and vice versa. One of them is usually here, taking care of this old guy. But today they had something. Left me to fend for myself, can you believe it?” I laugh as I pull out chicken and veggies.

“How dare they. How about some baked chicken and veggies?” He presses his lips together… “No?”

“How about a big juicy cheeseburger and fries with a Coke? They always make me eat healthy. I try to tell them the cancer's going to eat whatever I feed it.” Who am I to deny this grown man the meal he wants?

“Well, alright then. To McDonald's we go.” His face lights up as I take him to my car, making the most of our time.

On the way to the restaurant, Mr. Wilder tells me about Hayden and his wife, and how much he loved her. Then he tells me I remind him of her. It was sweet to hear him talk about how much he loved his wife and how ready he is to see her again.

We order our juicy cheeseburgers and fries, then he asks me to take him to see his wife. “I don't ask Hayden because I don't want to make him sad. Jace would bring me, but he already does more than enough.” We turn into the cemetery and head over to her stone.

Together we stand and talk about her, and who she was, and all the reasons he fell in love with her. “I fell in love with the way she loved herself; it only made me want to love her harder. I wanted my love to fuel hers. If there were ever a day when her self-love slipped, I wanted my love to wrap her up and remind her of how worthy she was. This woman was my love in all forms, mind, heart, body, and soul. I loved every part of who she was, and I never wanted her to doubt it.” His words were beautiful. I believed every word as he reminisced on the old days of young love and time well spent.

“The way you love your wife gives me hope. Hope that one day, I'll be loved like that too.” He smiles, hooking his arm into mine, as we make our way back to my car.

Sliding him into the seat, he looks at me with admiration in his eyes, “sweetheart, whether you believe it or not, you already are.” Giving him a small smile, I shake off the emotions before getting into the driver's seat. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Surely Jace has been over here saying all sorts of things to this sweet man, painting me out to be stubborn and sassy.

He shakes his head, “I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Jace. You aren’t mind readers. He doesn't know what you went through when he left, and you don't know why he left or how it hurt him. There is so much suffering already in life, lessen it by being open and honest. It might hurt at first; in fact, it probably will, but when everything is out in the open, it frees you from holding in everything that's dying to get out. So let it out, let him have it, tell him, honey. Because there is so much I wish I had told my wife. Regret is heavy, silence is heavier, be loud, sweet girl.” Just as we pull up to his house, my eyes swell with tears. I see Jace and Hayden sitting on the steps.

I wipe my eye before the tear falls, and he winks at me as Hayden opens the door. “Hey, old man. Had me worried today.” Hayden smiles at me. Jace opens my door, and I follow them in. “So, where did you guys run off to?”

Mr. Wilder looks at me and chuckles, “The strip club.” Then he turns and walks to the kitchen. Hayden turns and looks at me. I shrug and follow behind his dad.

I smile widely, winking at Mr. Wilder, “real tiger with the ladies, weren't ya?” Jace and Hayden both look at us, completely mortified. “Jeez, relax both of ya, we went for greasy burgers and fries with a Coke, then we went to see Mrs. Wilder. Beds made, bedding is clean and in with the others.” I walk around the island, “I'm going to take off. I had the best day. If you ever need anything, I'm your girl. I'll come anytime.” I give him a big hug, thanking him quietly so only he can hear me.

“Thank you, honey, see you soon.” Just as I think I'll get out alone. Jace follows behind me.

Before I can leave, Hayden stops me. “Lilla, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you.” I smile at him.

“Let me do it again. He’s special.” I turn to leave, and Jace still follows me. “I can let myself out.”

“You shouldn't have to.” I shouldn't have had to do so many things.

I slide into my car, remembering what Mr. Wilder said. Guilt eats at me, “Listen, Jace, you can't come back here after all this time and think I'm going to fall into you again. You can't really think I'd give you my heart after everything.” He places his hands on the window.