Page 36 of End Of Never

My words come out vile, “No. You do not get to speak with your daughter; you don’t get to speak with her unless she starts the conversation. There is no daughter of yours that I can see. You abandoned her before she even knew what that damn word meant. You are a shit woman and an awful fucking mother. Take your sorry ass out of this restroom before I remove you myself.” Her mother's eyes are saucers, darting between Lilla and me. “Oh, Mrs. Lane. If you ever make my future wife cry, or make her feel like her accomplishments are less than anything more than fanfuckingtastic, I will make your life hell, just like you made hers.”

Mrs. Lane takes a step closer, “You don’t know who you are messing with, young man.” I take a step closer.

“Nor do you, Ma’am.” She turns away swiftly, leaving Lilla and me in the doorway. I turn to look at Lilla. Her eyes show pure admiration. “Let’s go, baby, we are getting the fuck out of here.” She loops her arm through mine, holding tightly, and her body tells me everything I need to know. It’s almost pleading with me to hold her, to guide her through, so I do.

We march straight out the door, giving nothing more than a curt nod to the people she once called parents, the two who are now nothing but acquaintances, people she used to know. She loses nothing by not knowing them, while they lose everything.

The valet driver brings the car around, and Lilla slides in like the elegant goddess she is, making my way around the vehicle. I tip the valet driver a twenty and hop in.

Lilla’s eyes find mine, and I grab her chin, pulling her lips to mine, stealing her lips along with her breath and the thoughts that run through her mind. “Stop thinking and feel,” I whisper into her mouth, lifting her hand to my heart so she can feel the power she holds over me. “You’ve always been mine, and I’ve always been yours. Forget everyone else who doesn’t love you as I do.” I take her lips once more, capturing them with everything I have before pulling away.

As I drive her home, her eyes stay fixated on me in silence. I know what I said, and I meant it. We’ve gotten this far, and it’s time I lay it all out. There’s no room for miscommunication; that shit ruined her thought of me, and I’ll be damned if I let it do it again.

Pulling up to her house, I round the car, opening her door for her, like the gentleman I am. Following her to her door, I don’t miss the way her body sways with each step, how effortlessly she carries herself. She stops on the porch, “Good night, Jace.” Her words are tender, “Thank you for tonight. For–” I step into her, wrapping my arms around her waist, yanking her into me.

“Saving you– I’ll save you for the rest of our lives if you let me. I know I took the small part of your heart you let me have that night, and I ran with it. But trust me when I tell you, I have kept it with me all those years apart, I’ve cherished that fucking piece with everything. The man I was then wasn’t deserving of your whole heart. I won’t break it, not now, not ever.” A small tear rolls down her cheek. Fuck she’s even beautiful when she cries.

Her arms wrap around my neck as she hugs me intensely, “Good night, Jace. And, I believe you.” She turns, letting herself in, leaving me with a feeling so intense it's almost impossible to leave her. To let her walk away without having stretched her to me and only me, without molding her insides to the shape of my cock. All I want to do is claim her, to make her mine in every sense of the word. Instead, being a gentleman, I let her walk away. I watch her close the door, wondering if the feelings inside her are as intense. Suppose it feels like she could rupture with understanding, an understanding of why it never worked with anyone else. It’s always been her.

Driving home, I think about everything she endured when we were young. How many times was she broken and in my grasp? When she needed someone, I was right there, but so far away. In the moment I held her in her bedroom, she was raw, unfiltered, and the masks were off. She trusted me to see her in her true, broken form, and as beautiful as she was, she needed someone. I left, just like everyone else.

Not now. Now I have her, and I’ll never leave her.

Hayden is at my house with a guest. Hayden’s car sits on the street, and his friend’s car is in my driveway. Heading to the door, it opens, and a lady with brown hair runs out, giggling. She looks awfully familiar.

“Haley?” Shock blows through me.

“You look dashing. How was my girl tonight?” She throws her bag over her shoulder.

“Your girl?” Hmm, competition, “She was good, strong.” Haley nods her head, stopping outside my car, leaning against it. Her cheeks are flushed, her hair is tangled, and her shirt is on backwards.

“Just— don’t hurt her. When you left, it was bad, Jace. And it wasn’t all your fault, I’m not saying that at all. It was just the bomb that sank the ship. You didn’t see her. She was a ghost in her own body. So entirely broken, no amount of my love was enough to save her; it was devastating watching her drown, refusing to be saved. It was her begging me to let her die, to take her pain away. It was late nights waiting for her to come home drunk or high out of her mind because numbing the pain was easier than feeling it… It was waiting for a phone call that she was dead. She went to that bridge every damn day, and the worst part, I knew how bad she wanted to jump, but every time she tried, she couldn’t.” Haley’s eyes began to water, talking about the love of my life, wrecked me.

I lean against my car, both looking up at the stars, “Because she had you, Hals.” She shakes her head, standing from her relaxed stance.

“No, Jace. Because of you. Every time she came home, she’d be furious because your voice kept stopping her. ‘Don't jump.’ It was all she thought about; she’d wake up shouting it, dreaming of herself trying to jump off that stupid metal bridge in cold fucking sweat because even in her dreams, she couldn’t go against your command. If you hurt her, I’ll kill you, and I will gladly walk into that prison, even though orange isn’t my fucking color, I will rock the shit out of it for her. Because she’s had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime.” She turns to her car.

“Haley, I won’t. I promise. But Hals, don’t break his heart; he, too, has had a life of heartbreak, so the same goes for you, with the prison thing. Orange isn’t my color either.” She smiles, sliding into her car parked next to mine. Both promising one another to save our two most important people.

Hayden is sitting on the couch in his running shorts, shirtless. “Hey, man. Got a new girl, huh?” He smiles sheepishly.

“I think so, she’s amazing.” I laugh, grabbing water, “not just for that, damn.” He stands following me to the kitchen. I hand him a large glass of water.

“Look parched.” He takes the glass, chugging half of it before telling me to fuck off.

We both take a seat on the couch. “You should have seen Lil tonight, man. Fucking spitfire, she didn’t take shit. She stood her ground, and I was so fucking proud of her. She’s so strong, and I can’t believe there was a time when she didn’t think she’d make it.” Hayden leans back on the couch.

“Like someone I used to know. You both have grown, and in doing so, you met in the middle, both able to give the other the love you deserve. It isn’t fair to love someone half-ass, and when you were young, you would have put drugs and drinks before her, not even meaning to.” He rests his forearms on his thighs and leans forward.

“So tell me about you and Hals?” His smile shows his deep dimples.

“She’s alright.” He smiles like a schoolboy with his first crush. “I like her.”

“So just fucking orrr?” Standing up, I shrug off my dress coat and unbutton my dress shirt.

“For now, but I’m hoping for more. We have been texting in secret since that night at the gym. So it’s been a while.” This sly mother fucker.

“Wow, you are a changed man, keeping secrets from your best friend. I don’t want to hear it, Mr. Finger deep in Lil the other night, no word of that.” He raises his brows.