Page 135 of Pretender

“Mr A, you’re back so soon.”

Nodding towards the office I came from not long ago, Rita wordlessly walks over and knocks on the door. “Mr A is back,” she says and a muffled voice sounds from within.

Ms Knight sits where I left her, and when she sees me, she retrieves the contract again.

“I’m resigning,” I say.

“I gathered. You understand you won’t be able to return?” she asks, as if she didn’t just watch me change my mind fifteen minutes ago.

“I do. This is it.” I sign on all the pages she points out and the relief when I’m done is immense. My shoulders drop and I breathe freely. This was the right thing to do.

It’s all over now, and I step into the dark hallway for the last time in my life.

“Goodbye, Rita,” I tell the hostess.

“Hope you find what you’re looking for, Mr A.”

“I did.”

But now I need to go and fix it.

Leaving Le Lounge behind me, knowing exactly what I want in my life, is more freeing than frightening. The frightening part is figuring out how to get Linnea to forgive me.

I call Mo. Thirty minutes later I’m outside Linnea’s house, but it’s dark. She’s not here. Or she is, but she’s ignoring the doorbell, and my knocking. And my phone calls.

Shit, is she okay? Where did she go after she left me?

I sit down on the step outside her house. I’ll wait here.

My phone buzzes in my hand.

Please leave

So she is home?

“Linnea?” I shout through the solid front door. “I quit the club. All I want is you.”

Nothing. No sound.

“Linnea? Please…” I lean my forehead on the cold glass. The darkness spreads from my gut into my throat. I swallow hard. What have I done?

Another text vibrates in my hand.

Leave now, please. I need to be alone

Am I supposed to leave when she asks like that? Or fight harder?

“I’ll go now, but I’m not giving up,” I say, hoping she can hear me through the door. Then I slump back into the car.

“Take me to The Orion, Mo. I need a drink.”

It’s been a while since I was drunk. I punched a hole in a wall once. And another time I cried and Elliott thought I was having a breakdown. I try to recall when that was. Elliott is here now too. Mark is at the theatre with Rey. Sebastian is fuck-knows-where.

“You should get off the floor, Aiden,” Elliott says from somewhere. A disembodied voice. Is he even here?

His bright eyes and brown floppy hair appear too close to my face. He’s tan.

“You’ve been in the sun.” I squint at him.