Page 182 of Silent Shadows

“And I don’t know if she’s wrong.”

That gets his attention. He turns his head to look at me for the first time.

“What?”

I don’t meet his gaze. “What if she’s right?”

I feel the vault of feelings and fears inside me unlock, and words start tumbling out. Like I’ve been holding them too long.

“What if I’m not actually someone who wants the truth?” I ask quietly. “What if I just… need there to be something?”

Owen says nothing.

Just listens.

“What if I built my whole life around chasing things because I couldn’t let go?” My throat tightens unexpectedly. “Like… okay, cool, maybe Bigfoot exists.” I give a weak shrug. “Or… maybe not. Maybe portals are just people getting lost. Maybe the Moth Man sightings are just people with astigmatism. And maybe I’m just some guy who got sad once and never figured out how to stop looking for meaning where there isn’t any.”

The sentence hangs there. Ugly. Too honest.

“And Daisy…” Her name hurts. Still.

I stare down into cooling coffee.

“I keep wondering if she saw something in me before I did.”

The words come quieter now. Smaller.

“What if she saw I’m full of shit?” I ask.

Owen snorts. I glare at him.

“No, seriously,” I say with a sigh.

“I know,” he says. “That’s why it’s funny.”

“Helpful.”

He adjusts his grip on the steering wheel.

“You know what I think?” Owen asks.

“Do I want to?”

“I think she scared the hell out of you.”

I open my mouth. Close it again.

“Well, obviously,” I say, shaking my head.

“No, I think it’s more than that. She mattered,” he says simply.

“I know.”

“No.” Owen looks over. “I mean mattered.”

His eyes flick toward my mug.

“You made two coffees this morning, and I know the second sure as hell wasn’t for me.”