Page 71 of Pride, Prejudice & Wicked Pleasure

"How despicably I have acted!" Lizzy cried after she had recounted to Abby all that had transpired in the past twenty-four hours. "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities, who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself."

Abby listened with uncharacteristic gravity, her brows knit deep in thought, but Lizzy was in too much distress to notice.

“I know of this Wickham,” Abby said as she poured a cup of tea for her poor friend, “and I think you right to place your trust in Mr. Darcy’s account of the matter.”

Lizzy nodded, mindlessly accepted the cup but did not drink from it.

“I understand Mr. Darcy is to depart on the morrow,” Abby continued.

“Fortunate timing!” Lizzy cried. “I do not think I could face him presently. I am too discomposed!”

“Who would not be? Yours has been a most eventful couple of days. I would I had been here—especially for your third lesson. I must beg your forgiveness for the actions of Nicholas.”

Lizzy looked startled.

“Your instructor left me a stern and reproaching letter of my stepson’s misdeeds. I have since banished him from Trenwith House. I would have done it before were it not for a part of me that is riddled with guilt that the estate was entailed to me and not to him. But that is no justification. I have failed in my role, and you have suffered from my error.”

Wholly preoccupied by Mr. Darcy’s letter, Lizzy had forgotten of that. She turned red in recollection.

“There was not much harm done,” she said. “I did not come across Nicholas after partaking of the, er, aphrodisiac.”

“Were you able to carry on, then, with your appointed lesson?”

Lizzy’s flush deepened further. “Yes, and thank goodness. I had not thought a tonic could prove so potent.”

Abby pressed her lips into a firm line. “I am sorry, truly sorry for what you had to endure.”

Lizzy fell silent and looked down at her cup, the contents of which she had yet to imbibe. She could feel Abby’s curious gaze upon her.

“Something happened,” Abby contemplated. Her eyes widened. “You…but how wonderful!”

“I am a compromised woman,” Lizzy murmured.

“An enlightened woman. Baptized, if you will.”

A chuckle escaped Lizzy. “Perhaps I should not make light of so serious a situation. I was not myself.”

Abby’s delight diminished a little as she considered, “Your instructor is not one to act when an intoxicant has been present. He must…ah.”

Lizzy thought she understood the epiphany. “I was quite insistent.”

“Of course.” A new concern made Abby furrow her brow, but she cast it quickly aside, replacing it with a bright smile. “Well, I promise you would not have come across anyone better to provide you an introduction into that facet of womanhood.”

“I was present enough to note the pain but also the rapture that followed.” Lizzy took a deep breath. Still tossed in a storm of thoughts and feelings, she knew not where she ought to land. “I think I shall not sleep tonight.”

“Drink your tea. It is a jasmine blend from China and will help calm your nerves.”

The two women drank their tea in silence. Lizzy took her leave soon thereafter. Abby had been strangely pensive during their parting, but Lizzy paid it little attention, assuming her hostess to be weary from travel and no less stunned by the turn of events. It was not until Lizzy nearly reached the Parsonage that she realized Abby had never fully described the nature of her acquaintance with Mr. Darcy.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

After more than sufficient time had passed for Miss Elizabeth to have read his letter, Darcy called at the Parsonage to find Miss Elizabeth had not returned. It was not necessary that he should know her reaction to what he had written. There was the possibility she would disregard its truth, her antipathy toward the author being too great, and maintain the innocence of Wickham. Thus, Darcy took his leave after only a few minutes. He had never before divulged the full extent of Wickham’s offenses to anyone but could not suffer the misapprehension that put him at such a disadvantage to the other. Her good opinion mattered more than he expected. If he could right, even a little, the tilt of her estimation, his efforts would not have been worthless.

His cousin stayed at the Parsonage for an hour but returned without having seen Miss Elizabeth. They prepared to depart the following morning and spent the whole of the evening with Anne and Catherine, who was determined to make the most of their last hours together by planning every detail of their next visit to Rosings.

“Of course, the autumn season brings with it the opportunity for the sport outdoors you men are partial to, but the weather is best in summer for travelling,” Catherine said as they sat in the drawing-room after supper. “Do you not agree summer should be preferable to fall?”

The appearance of the groom delayed any answer, to her ladyship’s displeasure, and she looked upon the offending letter he carried with a pointed frown.