Page 37 of To Steal a Kiss

“What do you want, Nate?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper. “That’s why I’m here. That’s why I risked coming here to you. I won’t marry a man who doesn’t want me, who doesn’t even want to marry at all, let alone be forced into it, but….”

She trailed off and Nate wanted to shake her for it. What a moment to stop talking.

“But?” he echoed, holding his breath with anticipation.

“But… if I thought for a moment that… that you’d wanted me—”

“Wanted you?” he exclaimed, stupefied. “If I’d wanted you? Good God, Alice, were you not there last night?” He took hold of her by the arms, staring at her. “I was out of my mind with wanting you, which was why we ended up where we were. If I’d been thinking clearly, I would never have put you at such risk but I … I was mad with wanting you.”

Alice smiled a little at that, her expression shy and hesitant, making his poor heart ache with longing. “Yes, but… but that kind of wanting doesn’t always mean a man wants to marry you.”

Nate couldn’t help but smile at that, at her being the worldly one and trying to explain the facts of life to him.

“No,” he said gently as he lifted his hand to touch her cheek. “No, you’re right, it doesn’t, but it did last night. For me it did.”

His words hit her hard. He could see it. It was as if whatever courage had brought her here to this place—a place she would never have dared set foot in before now under any circumstances—fell away in the rush of relief. She gave a sob, her eyes glittering as one hand flew to her mouth.

“Alice, Alice, darling, forgive me.” He swept her up, lifting her into his arms as he carried her back to the settee and sat down with her in his lap, holding her close to him. “I thought you didn’t want me,” he said, tugging at the ribbons of her bonnet, keen to cast the impossible thing aside so he could kiss her before his heart gave out. “I thought I wasn’t good enough.”

She shook her head as he dealt with the bonnet, laughing and crying all at once.

“I would… n-never… n-never,” she stammered, wiping her eyes and laughing all at once. “Never would I think that,” she said, staring at him, such sincerity in her eyes that his breath caught in his throat.

“I love you,” he said, daring to expose his tenderest feelings once more, knowing there would be no coming back from it if she crushed him now.

She didn’t, just stared at him in wonder and lifted her hand to his face. Soft, kid gloves touched his cheek and he longed for the feel of her skin against his. Taking her hand, he undid the tiny button at her wrist and tugged the glove from her, raising her hand to his mouth and kissing her palm.

“I love you, Alice,” he said again, fiercer now.

“You hardly know me,” she said, though there was no reproof in her words, only confusion. “I don’t see how—”

“Neither do I,” he admitted, smiling at her. He knew it was unlikely and probably unreasonable. If a friend of his had declared himself in love after such a short acquaintance he’d have questioned the man’s sanity. Perhaps he was mad, perhaps love at first sight was a myth, but his heart told him otherwise. “I only know how I feel.”

“What if it isn’t real?” she asked, and he could see the doubt, the fear, in her expression. “What if we marry and you realise it was all a mistake, and when you do know me—”

“Marrying you could never be a mistake.”

She smiled at that and he could resist no longer. He leaned in, pressing his mouth to hers. She was as warm and sweet and soft as he remembered, and she opened to him at once, twining her arms around his neck and shifting closer. Desire rose like a tide and he forced himself to move back. He’d do this right from now on. She was a lady and deserved to be treated like one.

“Does this mean you’ve reconsidered?” he asked, fear stalked him, a cold weight in his chest at having to ask her again, despite everything that had been said.

She hesitated, and his heart plummeted again. Dear God, he didn’t think the wretched thing could endure much more of this.

“I want you to court me,” she said at length.

Nate’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Alice, you must marry me, or you’ll be ruined.”

She frowned at that and shook her head. “Matilda has managed; so shall I. I would rather be ruined than make a mistake.”

“And I would be a mistake,” he guessed, withdrawing from her embrace, but she just tightened her hold on him.

“Good heavens, I thought women were supposed to be the flighty, over sensitive ones?” she said, a scolding note to her voice. “I never said that and, if you will keep putting words in my mouth, then I’d best make this clear. I want to marry you.”

He let out a breath he thought he might have been holding since the moment she’d stepped into his office.

“You do?”