Page 74 of To Steal a Kiss

There was a moment of calm, during which Nate felt there was a glimmer of hope, and then it all went to hell as Mrs Dowding arrived on the scene.

She appeared at the top of the stairs, like an actress in some overblown melodrama, and swooned.

“Mother!” Alice cried, and hurried up the stairs.

The woman crumpled on the top step, but didn’t fall, which to Nate’s cynical eye appeared more calculation than luck.

“Alice,” the woman said faintly, as Alice brought her around with smelling salts. “Oh, my baby… my poor ruined daughter….”

“I’m not ruined in the least,” Alice replied, her voice tart. “I’m married.”

“To him!” the woman wailed in a sensational fashion, pointing an accusing finger down the stairs. “That… that villain.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, now you’re just being silly,” Alice said, remarkably unimpressed by her mother’s histrionics. “He’s not a villain. Not even close, so there’s no need to turn it into a Cheltenham tragedy.”

Nate looked up at his wife with pride. God, she was magnificent.

She helped her mother to her feet and guided her down the stairs.

“Now,” Alice said, her voice stern. “We shall go and sit in the parlour and discuss this like rational people.”

A knock at the door gave the butler an excuse to enter the fray once more, looking down his nose at the entire family now. Nate was just thinking the farce couldn’t possibly get any worse, what with a red-faced, furious father and a hysterical, swooning mother, and then Mr Bindley arrived.

Ah, the jilted lover. It had only needed that.

The fool was carrying a bouquet of roses and an expression of concern.

“I just c-came to see if Miss Dowding was m-more herself today,” he enquired, all solicitousness, until he looked around and became aware of the rising tension in the room.

“Oh, my poor boy….” Mrs Dowding wailed, embracing Edgar in a move that horrified him as much as it amused Nate.

He almost felt a twinge of sympathy. Almost, but not quite.

“Mrs D-Dowding,” the young man exclaimed, frozen in place while Alice’s mother crushed his roses and sobbed.

“I’m afraid you’re too late, old man,” Nate said, rather enjoying himself now. “Alice married me yesterday morning.”

Mrs Dowding emitted another howl of woe, while Mr Dowding tried to prise her off Mr Bindley. Alice just stood back watching the goings on with a look mild disgust until Nate caught her eye. Her lips twitched.

At that moment, however, Mrs Dowding released Bindley from the hold she had on him, and the spurned Romeo flung down his roses with fury before throwing himself at Nate.

“You blackguard!” he cried, enraged, momentum giving him rather more force than came naturally as he barrelled forwards.

Surprised, Nate crashed to the floor and Bindley followed him down, pummelling and flailing his fists like a wet hen with a great deal of show and very little impact.

“Oh!” Alice cried in outrage and ran to help, trying to drag Mr Bindley from Nate.

Nate, who didn’t dare throw a punch for fear of Bindley flinging himself backwards and hurting Alice, was a little stymied.

“Alice, get back, love,” he huffed, unsure whether to laugh or to get truly angry until Mr Bindley finally got lucky and struck him a blow to the chin. “Right, you little weasel, that’s quite enough of that.” Nate drew his knee up in a sharp gesture which made Bindley shriek like a scalded cat and fall to a heap on the floor.

“A… a gentleman… would never….” Bindley gasped, clutching at his private parts while his eyes watered.

“We’ve already established I’m no longer a gentleman,” Nate replied as he got to his feet and glowered down at Bindley. “You might bear that in mind the next time you come near my wife, or consider allowing her name to pass your lips. I promise you’ll regret it.”

“You’re welcome to the frigid little doxy,” Bindley snarled, unsteady as he struggled to his knees and clutching at a gilded console table to get to his feet. “I’d never have looked at her if not for the money. She smells of trade and desperation.”

There was a cry of horror from Mrs Dowding, who was realising Mr Bindley was not as nice a young man as she’d imagined. Nate, however, was beyond incensed, and knocked him down once again with a strike that likely broke his nose.