Page 46 of To Break the Rules

“That’s not what stopped him,” he said, staring at Dharani. “What aren’t you telling me?”

She smiled a little and stared down at her teacup. “The rest is for her to tell you, if she chooses to. If she trusts you enough. But that boy broke her heart, Lord Cavendish. Not only that, but he made her realise that people will always set her apart. She feels she belongs nowhere, that she has no place in this world.”

“She’s adrift,” Silas said quietly, remembering the words he’d given her at Mrs Manning’s dinner party, his promise to be her anchor.

“Haan,” Dharani said, nodding, her expression telling him how much she wanted Lucia’s happiness. She sat forward then, her piercing gaze searching his face. “Yes, that is it exactly. She is adrift, and it would take a strong man to change that, but… perhaps a man who is honourable to his core and would never waver, never flinch in the face of scandal, could win her trust. Perhaps even her heart.”

“I’m no fool boy with a head full of poetry and romantic dreams,” he said, holding her gaze. “I’ve had my share of scandal, and hardship. I don’t give a damn for what anyone says of me, or for what people think. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know what it is live with honour even if you’re in the gutter. I would protect Miss de Feria in any way that was necessary, whether that be with my name or my life. I won’t let her down. I won’t let you down.”

She stared at him for such a long time he had to struggle not to squirm under her scrutiny but at length she sat back, apparently satisfied.

“I like you,” she said, grinning at him in a way that made her face crinkle.

Silas let out a breath, only then realising how important it had been to him to hear her say that. “Thank goodness,” he said with a huff of laughter. “I was feeling like a small boy due a scolding.”

She chuckled, nodding. “And don’t think I couldn’t do it.”

“Oh, I assure you, I don’t,” he said in a rush, before he grew serious again. “Is there nothing else you can tell me? I know this has to do with the Earl of Ulceby. I know she plans to have some form of revenge, but for what?”

Silas hesitated, not wanting to ask more, but Dharani had been forthright from the outset, and he didn’t think she’d be offended.

“Is he her father?”

He waited as she let out a breath and then shook her head. “I’m sorry. These secrets are Lucia’s to give you, not mine.”

Disappointed but not entirely surprised, Silas nodded and got to his feet. “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, and for explaining a little.”

Dharani smiled at him and he thought he saw warmth in her eyes, and perhaps a little hope too. “Apna dhyaan rakhna, Lord Cavendish,” she said. “Take care of yourself, and that young woman. She needs a good man, someone strong and honourable to stand beside her. I would like to believe that man is you.”

Silas bowed and saw her smile with amusement. “No more than I, I assure you,” he said softly, and bade her a good day.

Chapter 13

My dearest friend. How I miss you. Even now after so many years, yours is the opinion I seek, the voice I long to hear. Your laughter haunts my dreams along with the promises you made me.

I remember playing hide and seek and going on treasure hunts on summer days that shine in my memory. How I wish there were more adventures for us to live together, more treasure to hunt for. I wish the future we had planned wasn’t just a lovely daydream.

Where are you, Luke? Where did you go? I see your face everywhere, disappearing into the crowd, glimpses of your hair shining like copper.

I will find you again. I will. You have my word.

―Excerpt of a letter from Miss Kitty Connolly to Mr Luke Baxter… never sent.

20th July 1814. Hyde Park, London.

“Drat this heat,” Matilda said, sighing and waving a pretty ivory handled fan with a desultory air. “I wish we hadn’t agreed to go to Green Park. I don’t think I can endure this until the first of August.”

Lucia hid a smile and made sympathetic sounds in reply. She wondered how Matilda would cope with an Indian summer, glancing at her pale skin and the flush of heat at her cheeks.

Her friend was prickly and irritable, and it had forced Lucia to use all manner of inducements to get her out of the house. Matilda had only agreed to a stroll in Hyde Park if they returned via Gunter’s and ate a quantity of flavoured ice to fortify them for the return journey.

The capital was rather lacking in company now the hot weather had arrived. The lure of the spectacle promised at Green Park was enough to keep some of the ton in residence, but many had conceded defeat and retreated to the relative cool of the countryside.

Despite Matilda’s protests, Lucia suspected she’d not miss the opportunity to see Montagu again. Sighing a little, Lucia wished she could keep a certain viscount from her own thoughts for more than five minutes at a time. It was impossible, though, and despite knowing her admission to him that night had been foolish, she could not regret it.

She could love him, so easily. This was why she ought to be glad not to have seen him all week. He was a complication she could not afford.

Lucia had known that, for her plan to work, she would have to keep herself at a distance, not for her own sake as much as to protect those who would get burned by her revelations. What she had not known was how very hard it would be to do that.