Page 66 of To Follow her Heart

I am so afraid of making the wrong decision, or of making the right decision for the wrong reasons. I’m so afraid of being alone and terrified of being tied into a marriage which can never make me happy. How cruel of me to marry a man I can’t love, though I think he views me as a possession himself, something pretty to own and take pleasure in the owning. I wish someone would tell me what to do, for my heart is of no use whatsoever.

―Excerpt of an entry from Miss Matilda Hunt to her diary.

30th August 1814, Holbrooke House.

“I’m so excited,” Bonnie exclaimed as the ladies gathered in Matilda’s room.

It was the night of the grand ball where everyone who was anyone would attend from miles around. Every eligible young man and young woman of the ton would be there, the rich and the powerful, coming together for a celebration where they would see and be seen.

Matilda turned to her little chicks and smiled with pleasure. “How beautiful you look tonight,” she said. “I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you were all married by morning.”

Harriet snorted and pushed her spectacles up her nose.

“Oh, come now, Harry,” Matilda chided. “That gown is just glorious and, the way you’ve done your hair, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look more lovely.”

“It’s true,” Bonnie said, giving Harriet a critical once over. “That shade of pink is very becoming.”

“I could never wear that colour,” Ruth observed with a sigh. “I blush easily enough as it is. I don’t need help to bring any further attention to it.”

Matilda smiled, aware it was true. Ruth was a solid young woman who bloomed with ruddy good health. She looked like she belonged in the countryside, perhaps managing some vast estate. Matilda thought she’d do a marvellous job; she was the sort who never got sick a day in her life and was never bored, but busy, industrious, and single-minded.

She glanced at Bonnie, who had gone to look at herself in the mirror. She too was at her best tonight in a deep midnight blue. Any man with eyes in his head would salivate over her, but they’d never offer her marriage unless she behaved with a little more decorum. The dress was the most daring she’d ever seen Bonnie wear, as she tended towards more conservative styles. Tonight’s gown was not conservative. Bonnie’s lush charms were in danger of over spilling the low-cut neckline, and the gown clung to her generous hips. Matilda experienced a surge of apprehension. Yet, she’d already nagged Bonnie enough about her behaviour, and felt bad for spoiling what remained of her fun. She only prayed Bonnie would not go too far and get herself into trouble.

Besides, she had trouble enough herself. Mr Burton would be waiting for her.

They looked up as a knock on the door sounded and Matilda laughed as Kitty hurried in, with Prue in tow, carrying a man’s top hat aloft.

Harriet gave an audible groan and covered her face with her hands. “Oh, no, Kitty, not tonight.”

“Oh, and if not tonight, when?” Kitty said, tutting and shaking her head. “Don’t be such a stick in the mud.”

“Come along, Harry,” Prue said, sitting beside her on the bed and putting an arm about her. “Take a deep breath and get it over with.”

She laughed as Harriet huffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, very well, then. Though I want it noted that I had a hand in Kitty’s dare already.”

Matilda, Bonnie, and Ruth gathered closer and Harriet put her hand into the hat, the dry sound of rustling reaching them as she made her choice. Matilda saw her take a deep breath and draw out a tiny folded piece of paper.

No one seemed to breathe again as Harriet unfolded it, her hands not entirely steady.

“Well?” Kitty said, bouncing on the spot. “Well?”

Harriet scowled.

“What is it?” Bonnie demanded, looking as though she would shake Harriet if she didn’t speak soon.

They watched as Harriet crumpled the paper in her hand, irritation in her eyes. “Bet something you don’t wish to lose.”

“Ooooh,” said Kitty. “That’s an interesting one.”

Harriet appeared to be considering murdering whoever had thought up that little gem, and so Matilda hurried things on. “Bonnie, why don’t you go next?”

Bonnie squealed with delight, not needing a second invitation. There was a deal of rustling once more as she stuck her hand in the hat and closed her eyes, an expression of intense concentration on her face.

“Oh, do come on,” Kitty protested. “Just pick one.”

With a flourish, Bonnie withdrew her hand, clasping a slip of paper. “Voilà!”

“Read it, then!” Harriet urged, just as impatient as the rest of them now.