Page 27 of To Dance with a Devil

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bonnie snapped, clenching her fists.

The young woman’s eyes widened, clearly surprised by the animosity. Bonnie was being rude and hateful and horribly unfair, and she well knew it. She could not, however, seem to stop herself. Lady Helena was everything that Bonnie wasn’t, the epitome of an elegant young lady. She was poised, beautiful, witty, and slender, and her manners were quite perfect, Bonnie didn’t doubt. Not to mention, she was a duke’s sister. No wonder Lady St Clair was so desperate to make the match.

“Only that you and Jerome are good friends,” Helena said carefully. “I know he thinks the world of you.”

Bonnie snorted and turned away to stare at the fire before she lost complete control, either of her temper or the tears that were threatening to spill.

“Miss Campbell, if you wish for the unvarnished truth, I have no interest in Jerome Cadogan, nor he in me, and even if his mother were to move heaven and earth, my brother will never agree to the match. Firstly, Jerome is a second son and I am the daughter and sister of a duke. It’s hardly a great match from my perspective but, putting that aside, my brother would never force me to marry a man I neither love nor desire. Is that plain enough?”

Though she knew she ought to turn around and beg Lady Helena’s forgiveness for her appalling behaviour, Bonnie could do nothing. The tears were streaming down her face and she could not stop them. Suddenly she was trembling and helpless to stem the ugly tide of emotion battering her on all sides.

“Oh, my dear.”

Bonnie turned her head, horrified but resigned as she saw Lady Helena at her side. The young woman put her arms around her and hugged her tightly.

“Oh, you poor thing. I’m so sorry. Good heavens, I must be the last person on earth you wished to see this morning. I wonder you didn’t attack me with the poker. I think I might have in your position.”

Bonnie gave a hysterical laugh and then the storm she’d tried so valiantly to keep at bay broke. To her astonishment, Lady Helena held her while she sobbed her heart out, stroking her back and her hair and murmuring reassurances. Though she had no idea how long the tears and the tide of misery flowed, by the time it had abated it was replaced by a swell of nausea that made Bonnie first hot, then cold, and sent her rushing from the room at a run.

She abandoned her poor abused guest and flew up the stairs, just reaching her room in time to grab the chamber pot and empty the contents of her stomach.

Through the retching and moaning, Bonnie was only dimly aware of the door opening and closing, of a cool cloth being pressed into her hand, of the vile chamber pot being taken away and a glass of water held out to her. She looked up then, into deep green eyes filled with sympathy and dismay.

“Have you told him?” Lady Helena asked her, and to Bonnie’s shame she could detect no victory or malice in the words, despite searching for them.

She had been hateful to this woman because of her own jealousy, and yet Lady Helena gave her nothing but kindness in return. Her shock at being so easily discovered must have shown on her face.

Helena smiled at her. “Prue is increasing,” she said. “Though don’t tell anyone. You have the exact same look she has worn this past month or more.”

Bonnie closed her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t,” she whispered. “I won’t trap him. He doesn’t love me. I knew that when….” She glanced at Helena and blushed, shamed further. “I got myself into this mess. There’s no one else to blame.”

“Nonetheless,” Helena persisted.

“No!” Bonnie cried, wrapping her arms about herself. “You must swear to me you’ll not tell him. Nor anyone else, but especially not Jerome.”

“The child is as much his responsibility as yours,” Helena said, surprisingly fierce now. “It will be his son or daughter too. He has a right to the knowledge.”

Bonnie nodded, knowing that was true. “I’ll not keep it from him forever, I swear, but I’ll not have him forced into a situation where he’s honour bound to marry me. He’s already offered his hand for having ruining me, when the truth is I threw myself at him repeatedly, but he is my friend, and I will not destroy his life and our friendship by tying him to me forever. I love him too much for that. Can’t you understand?”

Helena stared at her and, to her surprise, Bonnie saw tears in her eyes. “You would face ruin and shame, rather than save yourself, to ensure his happiness?”

Bonnie nodded.

Helena reached out a hand and tousled Bonnie’s short curls. “I wish I had gotten to know you sooner, Bonnie Campbell, but all is not lost. You may count me a friend. I must tell you I disagree with your decision, but… I will not tell Mr Cadogan that you carry his child.”

All the air left Bonnie’s lungs in a shuddering breath. “Thank you,” she said.

Helena smiled, but Bonnie knew she was unconvinced and worried for her future. Well, she thought wearily, she was certainly not the only one.

Chapter 10

Dear Mr de Beauvoir,

I have compelled myself to wait a whole four days before replying to your note. I shall not call it a letter, as you were so terribly grudging with words that I was forced to sigh with longing over that terse little postscript. Did it hurt very much?

You will note that I have taken extra care with my writing today. Look at all those curly ascenders and descenders and those neat little tittles – yes, the dots really are called tittles, I looked it up. Aren’t you proud of my enquiring mind?

Is your heart beating just a bit faster?