Page 42 of To Dance with a Devil

“Nonetheless, we didn’t get permission. That’s grounds for an annulment.”

“I don’t give a damn if it’s grounds for a stay in the Marshalsea, it’s not bloody happening!” he shouted, utterly bewildered and hurt, so dreadfully hurt.

He wanted to hold her and comfort her and cry with her for the loss of their child, and she wanted… she wanted to get rid of him?

“Don’t be a fool,” she said, and she sounded so utterly weary he didn’t know what to do, what to say.

“I’m not being a bloody fool!” he shouted, knowing he ought not to raise his voice but not having the least idea of what to do. “Why are you saying this? Are you trying to hurt me?”

She flinched, but at that moment the door opened and the doctor came to him, his expression stern.

“Mr Cadogan, I believe I told you that your wife needed peace and quiet and yet I can hear raised voices from the other end of the corridor.”

“Well,” Jerome said bitterly. “She wants so much peace and quiet she wants me gone. For good! Should I allow her that too?” he demanded, and then stormed from the room, barely stopping himself from slamming the door behind him.

He stood outside it for a long moment, too numb to speak, or to move, and then he sat in the chair that had been placed by the door for him as he’d refused to leave when the doctor was with Bonnie. How long he sat there with his head in his hands, he didn’t know, but then he heard footsteps, and looked up to see Jasper coming towards him.

He paused in front of Jerome, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I’m so sorry,” he said.

Jerome lurched awkwardly to his feet. Jasper drew him into a hug, and his composure cracked. Though it hurt his pride, his heart hurt far more, and he sobbed on his big brother’s shoulder. Jasper said nothing, for which he was grateful.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling away and rubbing his face with his handkerchief after such a humiliating display and loss of control. “Please forgive me.”

“Don’t be an ass, Jerry,” Jasper said, smiling a little. “After what you’ve been through, you’re entitled, and as if I give a damn. If it were Harriet, I’d be the same and you know it.”

Jerome nodded, knowing that was true, and then met his brother’s eyes. “But would Harriet demand an annulment?” he asked bitterly.

Jasper’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

It took Jerome a moment to reply and, when he did, his voice wasn’t entirely steady. “She doesn’t want me,” he said, giving a twisted smile. “After… After all of it. She doesn’t want me. Realised what a bad bargain she made, I suppose,” he quipped, though he wanted to break down again, not make jokes at his own expense.

Jasper stared at him and then shook his head. “No.”

“Oh, I assure you, yes,” Jerome replied tersely. “She was very clear about it.” He sat down again, as he wasn’t certain his legs were steady enough to do the job of keeping him upright.

“No,” Jasper said again, harsher this time, as if that made everything all right.

“Damn it, Jasper, did you not hear what I said?”

“I heard,” Jasper replied, and then crouched down in front of him. “I have a wealth of experience with bad-tempered women, Jerry,” he said wryly. “And I saw for myself how besotted Bonnie was with you. She loves you, and that doesn’t stop overnight. This isn’t a change of heart, I’m sure of it. She’s hurt. She’s badly hurt, and she’s lashing out or trying to protect herself, or perhaps you. Don’t ask me which, because I’m certainly not clever enough to figure out what goes on in a woman’s mind, but I’m telling you, she doesn’t want an annulment.”

“She doesn’t?” Jerome asked, wanting with all his heart to believe his brother.

Jasper shook his head. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past months, it’s that you must talk. You can’t let her out of your sight until you know everything, every single reason, every single thought behind her demand for an annulment. You must force her to explain it to you, to reason it out. Good God, Jerry, I nearly lost Harriet because of what she heard me say to that arse Peter Winslow, and I never meant a word of it. If only I’d known we could have been married long before now, perhaps we’d already have children, but a ridiculous misunderstanding festered between us and kept us apart for years. Don’t let the same stupid error ruin everything for you.”

Jerome took a deep breath and considered Jasper’s words, hope flickering to life.

“Thank you, Jaz,” he said, meaning it with all his heart.

“That’s what big brothers are for, Little Breeches,” he said, grinning at the nickname he’d tormented Jerome with for years.

Huffing out a laugh, Jerome regarded him with narrowed eyes. “I’ll let you get away with that this once,” he warned. “But next time I’m going to pound you.”

“You can try,” Jasper retorted, getting to his feet. He paused, and then ruffled Jasper’s hair. “It’ll be all right. Just keep calm and don’t give up. Don’t let her hide her feelings from you.”

Jerome nodded. “I won’t. I can promise you that.”

Chapter 16