Page 80 of To Hunt the Hunter

10th May 1815, The Old Bath Hotel, Matlock Bath, Derbyshire.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Nate protested, setting down his teacup with a clatter. “I’m protecting you, for heaven’s sake.”

Matilda glared at her brother from her position at the window, unimpressed.

“Well, aren’t you lucky I didn’t protect Alice from you, Nathanial?” she said, her voice dripping sarcasm. “How fortunate that I believed her to be a grown woman, capable of making decisions of her own, or things might have worked out a little differently for you.”

“It’s not the same,” Nate insisted, and she heard the anger in his voice. “I wanted to marry Alice, not to ruin her.”

“You would have ruined her, though,” Matilda shot back, too furious to be reasonable. “If not for Lucian, but I suppose you’ll forget about that, just like you’ll forget how she would have been raped at Vauxhall Gardens if not for his intervention. Yet, you persist in seeing what you want to see, casting him as a villain.”

“Oh, please don’t argue,” Alice said miserably, caught between the two siblings.

Nate had the grace to look uncomfortable, at least. He sighed. “I admit he’s been maligned, and I can’t imagine what kind of life he must have lived, but still, Matilda. You know how he treated you. He let the ton ruin you… he helped them do it.”

Matilda shook her head, knowing she could not tell him about Thomas, about the circumstances of his death and how Lucian had worked to protect his brother’s name. “You know nothing about it, Nate. You don’t understand, and I can’t explain without breaking his confidence. Why won’t you just believe me when I tell you he is a good man, that he loves me?”

“If he loves you so bloody much, where is his proposal?” he demanded, slamming his fist down on the table so that the china jumped and rattled.

The thin wail of a baby crying sounded from the room next door. Alice shot her husband a look of sheer exasperation before hurrying to her son.

Matilda sighed, weary of this argument which had been raging from the moment she’d sat down to breakfast with her brother and Alice. Nate had ensured they had moved her bedroom close to their suite of rooms last night without her knowledge, and she was seething with fury. He had guarded her like a dog with a bone, and she wasn’t certain she would ever forgive him. Worse yet, Lucian seemed complicit in his actions. She could feel him pulling away from her, putting distance between them, forcing her to leave him. Though she’d known it was inevitable, she had not seen it this way. She had imagined their last days together to be bittersweet, spent with each other, snatching every second of every day in each other’s company, until the night of that damned ball, when he would step beyond her reach for good.

“It’s a fair question,” Nate said, though his voice was gentle.

Matilda stared out of the window, at the stunning countryside laid out before her. It promised to be a lovely day, the sunrise painting the sky in shades of gold, but for now an ethereal mist clung low to the ground, giving the landscape an unreal, fairy tale quality that was quite enchanting.

“It isn’t a fair question, or at least it might be, for Mr Bennet or someone like him.”

“Who is Mr Bennet?”

Matilda smiled and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, only that Lucian isn’t Mr Bennet, he’s Montagu, and unless you were bred to be Montagu, you would not understand what that means. It is not merely the expectation of a nobleman to marry well, it is laden with the burden of guilt and responsibility he feels for the dead, to honour their memories, to make them proud and fulfil the destiny they set out for their family generations ago. Especially now, after the damage his uncle has wrought to the family name.”

“So, he cannot marry you,” Nate said, his voice grim.

Matilda shook her head, tracing a pattern in the fogged up window pane, a witch’s heart with a crooked tail. “He won’t be able to keep it all quiet, and in truth I’m glad for that. People should know what he has endured, how badly they misjudged him, but now he must marry quickly, to some perfect young lady who will help him repair the damage that has been done.”

“Then you must leave him, Matilda.”

She did not answer, could not as the truth of his words burned in her throat. She heard him move, felt his hands on her shoulders as he turned her around to face him.

“I’m sorry, Tilda. I would do anything to save you from pain. Anything at all, but there is no escaping this. Your name is being dragged through the mud, and there is little we can do to repair it, but we must try, love. Think of Alice and Leo, if you won’t consider your own future, consider how difficult it will be for them to be seen with you if you don’t mitigate the damage.”

“I know,” she said, feeling the misery rise in a wave, swallowing her whole. “B-But…. Oh, God, N-Nate, it hurts. I love him s-so much and it h-hurts so badly.”

She could not hold back any longer and the tears came then, ugly and too powerful to stop. She clung to her brother as sorrow threatened to pull her under.

“I know,” he said, holding her tighter, and she heard his voice crack as he rocked her like she was a child. “I do know, and I’m so sorry. So terribly sorry, but there is nothing else we can do. We must go.”

Matilda sobbed harder, barely noticing as the door opened.

“Oh, love.”

She looked up, blinking through her tears at Ruth, who hurried towards her and held her arms open. Matilda let her brother go and fell into them, feeling more arms going about her as other women pressed closer, enclosing her in a circle as they gathered near.

“We’re here, darling,” Helena whispered, hugging her too. “And we’ll look after you, we all will. You’ll not be alone, I promise. Prue wanted to be here so much, but Bedwin wouldn’t let her travel since she’s so close to her date. She’s waiting for you.”

“And I’m certain Kitty is on her way too,” Ruth added.