Page 84 of To Hunt the Hunter

“Who’s a handsome boy then? Yes, you are.”

Matilda smiled as she watched Prue cuddling baby Leo over the growing bulk of her own pregnancy whilst Alice looked on with an indulgent smile.

“Have another, Tilda,” Bonnie urged, trying to press another of tiny little delicacies that Ruth’s marvellous cook had sent around to tempt her appetite.

Matilda shook her head. “No, thank you, Bonnie. Not just now.”

All of her friends had set up some kind of schedule, which meant that she was never alone. They had filled her house with the sound of their chatter, Helena playing on the pianoforte, Minerva and Harriet discussing some obscure book that made no sense at all to anyone else. Even Kitty had arrived and was bickering with Bonnie over which of them should get to eat the last pain á la duchesse.

Today they were all here, every one of the Peculiar Ladies that she had watched as they made friends and fell in love, discovering their own strengths and everything they were capable of along the way. If she had the energy, she might begrudge them their happiness, for she was no saint and, though she would not allow herself to become bitter, she resented that she had been denied what they had. She was too weary for resentment, though, for anything at all. A strange lethargy had settled over her like a damp wool blanket, and she did not care enough to fight free of it.

So she watched her friends, grateful for their presence but not really a part of the proceedings, of the conversations and plans for the future. She would be, she promised herself. One day she would go back to the world and remind herself that there was joy to be found, adventure even once her travels began, but not now. Not yet.

Distantly she was aware of her butler speaking to Ruth but paid it no mind until a small and familiar face was right in front of her.

Matilda blinked. “Phoebe?”

“Oh, Matilda!”

Matilda put her arms out just in time as the girl launched herself towards her, throwing her arms around her neck.

She held her tightly for a moment before letting her go. “Whatever are you doing here, my love?”

Phoebe stood straight again and smoothed out her skirts, her little face growing serious. She pursed her lips as if she was remembering just what she must say. Taking several large gilt-edged cards from the pocket of her pelisse, she handed them to Matilda.

“Those are invitations for you and all of your friends for the ball. You must come. It’s very important. Uncle will make everything right, but you have to be there.”

Matilda blinked at her. “What do you mean?”

“I cannot tell you any more than that,” Phoebe said, her grey-blue eyes filled with anxiety, her little gloved hands twisting together. “Only you have to promise to come. He can’t make it right if you don’t come.”

“Oh, but,” Matilda protested, shaking her head. “I… I can’t love. He will announce his engagement and…. No. No, I’m sorry, it’s….”

She shook her head and Phoebe looked panic-stricken. The little girl stared around the assembled company until she saw Helena.

“Helena!” Phoebe ran to her and took her hands, tugging at them urgently. “She must come,” she beseeched. “She simply has too. Please. Make her!”

Matilda shook her head at Helena, warning her not to try, but Helena was staring at Phoebe, a little frown between her eyebrows.

“She’s right,” Helena said, and in that moment Matilda hated her just a little.

She hated that she was happily married to the man she wanted, that nothing had kept her apart from Mr Knight, despite the inequality of their status. Helena turned to her, though, not allowing her to escape.

“It is the best way of getting it over with. We will all be there to support you, Matilda, and if Montagu can help you, he should. Besides, you have still to complete your dare.”

“Oh, your dare,” Kitty said, eyes wide. “I don’t even know what it is.”

“To do something that frightens her,” Helena said, smiling a little at Matilda.

“Oh, that was one of mine,” Ruth exclaimed. “Though I must admit, I was thinking more of picking up a spider or climbing a tree.”

Kitty snorted and rolled her eyes. “Well, it would get the dare done, and show all those stupid gossips that the Peculiar Ladies do not bow down to their stupid ideals. We don’t care for the ton, or for its rules; we shall make our own.”

“Oh!” Phoebe exclaimed, clapping her hands together with delight. “Oh, what a marvellous idea. There, see Matilda, you must come.”

Matilda looked around at her friends, searching for one of them to support her in saying that it was a terrible idea.

Aashini reached out and took her hand. “Sometimes, we must face what frightens us most of all before we can move on, Matilda. Once it is done, you’ll know there is nothing that will break you, that you can overcome anything. And, if Montagu really has a plan to help you, should we not give him the chance? You trust him, don’t you?”