Page 31 of Dare to be Wicked

She was staring at the image, eyes wide with shock, her mouth open in a little ‘o’ of surprise.

“That’s me,” she said, her voice trembling. “T-That’s how you see me.”

“Lottie, I….” He did not know what to say, for it was how he had imagined her, tumbled among the sheets of his bed, her expression inviting him to come back and make love to her again.

She moved towards the drawing, and he wondered if she would tear it down and fling it at him in fury. Had he not only lost his best friend, but also the woman he was falling in love with, both gone in the space of a week? Yet she made no move to destroy it. She only gazed at it, her chest rising and falling too fast.

“It’s a very good likeness,” she said after a long moment, during which Cassius realised he’d been holding his breath. “But….”

He braced himself, awaiting the furious set down, or the caustic reprimand that must surely follow.

“But if you are preparing sketches for a painting, I think you ought to work from life.”

“W-What?” The breath he’d been holding escaped him in a rush, as he saw the wrap fall from her shoulders and her nightgown follow it down to form a soft heap of white cotton at her feet. He gaped, his mouth dropping open as he took in the elegant curve of her spine, her dainty waist and then… and then the most delicious, most perfectly plump bottom in the world. His gaze snagged there, and it was a long moment before he could even consider the long, shapely legs. Then her golden hair tumbled free down her back and he realised she had released it from its plait.

Cassius could not move, could not think, could do nothing but stare in stunned awe at the image before him, an image that would be burned upon his brain until the day he died. She glanced over her shoulder at him, her cheeks pink but her blue eyes calm.

God, she was brave. She threw herself at life, at the things she wanted and was always so completely honest, no matter the risk to herself. She would make herself vulnerable rather than hide behind rules and propriety as most people did. He admired her for that, more than he could say. It was only now that he realised that he always had admired that about her, that fearless spirit, the joy she took in life, making even an ordinary day brighter. Being with her would always be an adventure, no matter where they were.

His breathing picked up, his heart thudding erratically behind his ribs as she moved to the daybed he’d had brought down from the house. He’d draped it with rich fabric, velvet and satin, and cushions in vibrant colours, and it was all he could do not to moan with longing as she laid herself down upon it. She raised one arm above her head and Cassius made a strangled, whimpering sound he wasn’t terribly proud of, but that any man with a pulse would have well understood. Her breasts were full and creamy and tipped with delicate pink nipples and oh, God… Oh, dear God in heaven, he was going to hell. He ought not look. He… He looked. He looked and looked and could not stop. He ought to throw his coat over her and turn his back and… and run like hell, but he wasn’t going to.

“Like this?” she asked, her voice faint and nervous as she arranged herself for him.

Cassius swallowed, finding his mouth dry.

“Lottie,” he rasped, his chest rising and falling like a damned bellows.

“Don’t you want to draw me?” she asked with challenge in her eyes.

“Want to?” he said with an incredulous laugh. “Of course I bloody well want to.”

He ought not to have spoken so, but he was so far beyond proper behaviour it hardly seemed to matter. What he wanted was to join her on the day bed and feel all that warm silken skin along the length of his body, to kiss every satiny inch and map her curves from head to toe with his tongue.

“Well, then,” she said, putting up her chin. “Th-Think of me as a bowl of fruit. You are a professional, are you not?”

“Lottie, if anyone were to see—”

“Then make very sure that they don’t,” she said, her tone fierce. “It is for your eyes only, Cassius.”

“Of course it bloody is!” he exclaimed. “You think I would let anyone else see—”

“No,” she said, before he worked himself into a passion over the idea. “No. I do not. So… this is for you, Cassius. Paint me as I am, with no flattery, no disguises, or clever tricks. Paint the truth and know that you alone have seen what I really am.”

“Do you think I know?” he asked, curious about that. “Do you think I see everything that you are?”

A slow smile curved over her mouth. “Do you remember the summer before you left? We were all out on the terrace. It had been a long, hot day and everyone was sleepy, dozing in the sun. You told me of all the places you were going to visit in France. I was so envious, and I told you that I wanted to travel too, especially to see Egypt and visit the pyramids. We talked about it for hours.”

Cassius nodded. He did remember, with startling clarity. Had it begun then perhaps, without him realising, for he remembered the passion in her eyes as she’d spoken about the great Italian explorer, Belzoni and all his discoveries. He’d been as caught up in the conversation as she had, but then it had been time to dress for dinner and… had he forgotten? Or had he known he was playing with fire? Either way, he’d been about to go away for two years so perhaps he had just not allowed himself to think… to consider…

“I don’t know everything about you,” he said, finding himself breathless, as much with excitement at his sudden understanding as with the glorious creature laid out before him. “No more than you know everything about me, but I think we both like adventure and surprises, and walking into the unknown. I think you could live a different life and find joy in it. I think we could do that… together.”

She let out a breath, her eyes sparkling with happiness and he knew he was right, knew this astonishing woman was brave enough to face the life he wanted to live. No, not only to face it, but to relish it, just as he would. Eliza wanted to change the world in which she lived but that world was in England. Cassius wanted to see everything, to record the world in its entirety, and Lottie wanted that too, and that was the difference between them.

“You want to leave again, don’t you?” she asked.

Cassius nodded, knowing he could admit it to her. He was so happy to be home, to see his family and the people he loved, but there was an itch inside of him too, something that tugged at his soul and beckoned him to pack up and go.

“So do I. England is stifling sometimes. There are so many rules, and I’m so often in trouble for breaking them. I should like to see places where life is different.”