Page 55 of Dare to be Wicked

―Excerpt of a note from Lady Elizabeth Adolphus to The Right Hon’ble Phoebe Carmichael, The Countess of Ellisborough.

17th July 1838, Holbrook House, Sussex.

Lottie gathered her nerve as she stood outside the door to her sister’s room. Though Eliza had certainly thawed towards her, they had not had the opportunity speak privately, or perhaps the opportunity had been there, but neither of them had been quite ready to take it. Now Lottie knew they must address the lingering tension between them, for fear that it would fester and damage a relationship which she prized above anything. She raised her hand and knocked, waiting until Eliza called for her to enter.

Lottie found her at the window seat, staring out at a day that had dawned misty and damp and threatened to bring rain.

“I brought that book back,” Lottie said, holding out a novel that Eliza had lent her some weeks ago.

“Oh, thank you. Did you like it?”

Lottie hesitated and put the book down on the bedside table, perching on the edge of the mattress. “Actually I… I haven’t read it yet only I wanted an excuse to come and see you.”

Eliza stared at her. “You needed an excuse?” she repeated.

Lottie looked away from her sister’s wide-eyed gaze and smoothed out her skirts nervously, discovering her palms were damp. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“B-Because I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me,” Lottie said, appalled to discover her voice quavering. Her bottom lip trembled.

“Oh, love!” Eliza surged to her feet with a rustle of skirts and rushed to her sister.

It was quite awkward to sit closely without crushing both of their voluminous skirts but neither of them cared. Eliza embraced Lottie, who burst into tears, throwing her arms about her sister with such relief she felt a weight had been lifted from her.

“I’m s-so sorry, Eliza,” she wept, as Eliza thrust a handkerchief into her hand, for of course Eliza had a handkerchief ready for such an occasion. Lottie always lost hers. “I hate myself for making you unhappy.”

“Oh, no. Oh, Lottie, don’t. I’ve… I’ve been pettish and spiteful, and I’m quite ashamed of myself.”

Lottie gave her nose a forceful blow and sat up, regarding her sister. “Don’t say that! Mama is so proud of you for speaking your mind.”

Eliza snorted. “Speaking my mind is one thing, and I must admit… oh, Lottie, it is so liberating to do so. I never realised… but never mind that. One does not need to be unkind to be truthful, only I was so very angry.”

“With me,” Lottie said, nodding.

“No! Well,” Eliza said with a rueful sigh. “If I am being honest, then yes. Yes, I was angry, but only that it seemed you were keeping secrets from me. When I thought about it, I realised I had no right, when… when I have been doing the same.”

Lottie sniffed and sat up a little straighter, regarding her with interest. “You have?”

A flush of colour tinged Eliza’s cheeks and she and got up, moving to the chest of drawers and taking out another clean handkerchief.

“Here,” she said. “You’ve mangled that last one.”

“Thank you,” Lottie said, wiping her eyes and giving her nose another blow. “But what secret, Eliza?”

Eliza hesitated. “Tell me what happened with Cassius. Tell me everything, and… and I shall tell you my secret in return.”

This time Lottie blushed, heat crawling up her neck and scalding her cheeks. Eliza smirked at her.

“And well you might blush, you dreadful creature. I was never more shocked to find those drawings of you in… in… well, in the altogether! How did you dare? I cannot imagine ever having the courage to do such a thing.”

Lottie giggled. “It was my dare.”

Eliza gaped at her. “Charlotte! You never took your clothes off for a dare!”

Lottie crowed with laughter at the outrage in her sister’s eyes. “No! Well, at least, not just for the dare, but it gave me a reason, the courage to do it. But I wanted to, Eliza, I… oh, my dear. I have such a lot to tell you.”

Eliza climbed back onto the bed, and the two of them sat very close as Lottie explained everything that had happened since they had arrived at Holbrook. As she spoke, all the restraint and resentment that had grown between them fell away, and it was as if the past days had never happened. By the time Lottie had whispered the most delicate of details of what she’d experienced in the past few days, Eliza was round eyed with wonder.