Page 48 of A Rogues & Gentlemen Christmas

Chapter 4

“Wherein… a wedding night.”

9th December 1820. London.

Bunty looked up to find Ludo watching her intently. Their eyes met and he cleared his throat, turning away and going to the fireplace to stoke the fire which was burning merrily and did not appear to need his attention. She frowned. If she didn’t know better, she would have said he was nervous.

Pffft. Nervous?

Lustful Ludo the Libertine?

Hardly.

Yet she did not know how else to account for his behaviour. Unless, of course, he didn’t desire her? The thought made her stomach clench. Oh. She’d just assumed, after the way he’d kissed her, that… but perhaps bedding someone was another thing entirely. Or perhaps he’d gone off the idea, or….

“What’s wrong?”

Bunty jolted, a little alarmed to discover he was standing so close to her.

“N-Nothing,” she stammered, and then changed her mind. If this marriage was going to have the slightest chance of succeeding, they must be honest with each other. “Well, actually, there is something….”

His face fell and he looked so utterly dejected she wished she’d kept her blasted mouth shut.

“I know it’s awful,” he said, one large hand raking through his hair and making it stick up all over the place. “I tried my best to make it presentable, but no amount of flowers and champagne will ever turn this hovel into a palace, I’m afraid.”

“What?” She stared at him for a moment before she realised what he was talking about. “Oh, no, it’s not that. Your rooms are charming.”

He snorted with disgust.

“For a bachelor, certainly.” He moved closer and took her by the shoulders. “I will do better for you, Bunty. I swear I will.”

“Please don’t worry. After all, there is my dowry now, and—”

Ludo shook his head, his mouth set in a firm line. “No.”

“No?” She frowned at him, puzzled by the resistance in his voice.

“I’ll… I’ll find a way myself. That money is yours, to use as you see fit.”

Bunty gaped, bewildered. “But I don’t need a sum like that! Though, that you would give me access to it is… is more than I expected. Thank you, Ludo.”

“Christ, you would thank me? For forcing you to live in this….” He gestured around him with a muttered curse and turned his back on her. “I suppose I ought to use your money to buy us somewhere decent to live, for your sake at least, but… but I want to do it by myself. God, I’m a selfish bastard.”

Bunty smiled, understanding his dilemma. A man’s pride was a fragile thing. Her mother had taught her that much.

“I am perfectly content to live here while you get things in order, Ludo. It is no hardship, I assure you.”

Bunty had come from a well-run, elegant house, and she had never lacked any comfort, but she did not think life in these rather shabby rooms was enough to daunt her. Not if Ludo genuinely wanted her with him, but that brought her back to her original point.

“You are too kind,” he said.

She could not decipher his tone so she moved closer so she could see his face.

“Ludo?”

He turned towards her, and Bunty gathered her courage.

“D-Don’t… don’t you want me?”