Page 17 of Dare to Risk it All

“Life is dull?” he repeated, unable to fit the word in the same context as Greer Cadogan, who was as far from dull as it was possible to be.

She gave a little laugh and shrugged. “Oh, well, no. That’s just me being ungrateful. It’s just there is so much more I want to do and can’t and it makes me wild. If I were married, I’d have more freedom, I suppose,” she mused. “But that seems increasingly unlikely. Unless you’d like to marry me? Would you? I’d certainly keep you busy.”

Raphe choked on the pie. Had that been a proposal of marriage? He gasped, wondering if he’d misheard. She’d spoken so casually she might have just been asking him if he wanted a sandwich. He was vaguely aware of her scrambling across the blanket to him and, a moment later she was pounding him on the back.

“Oh, dear. I beg your pardon. Me and my wretched mouth. Did I frighten you to death? I am sorry.”

Raphe took a breath and turned to stare at her.

“You ought not be let out alone,” he said with feeling.

She nodded.

“You can’t just go around proposing to men without a by-your-leave!”

“I know,” she said, offering him a small smile. “It’s all right. I’ll go if you want me to. I know I ought not to have come, only—”

He ought to make her leave. He should send her away, back to the safety of the Hall. If he’d had the least bit of sense, or even a scrap of decency, he would have simply accepted her apology and made her go. Raphe had never been much good with ought to and should, though, and decency was a concept he seemed to have forgotten entirely of late. So, instead of doing the right thing—the thing he had promised himself he would do—he gave in to desire, as he always did, and leaned in, pressing his mouth to hers.

She stilled at once, whatever words she might have spoken silenced beneath the seal of his lips. He put his hand to her silken cheek, caressing lightly, and then slid his hand to the back of her head, pulling her closer. She offered no resistance, inclining towards his, opening her mouth as he had taught her to do, and satisfaction swept over him. Except it wasn’t enough, not even nearly. Nothing but total surrender would be enough, her body beneath his, giving herself over to him. His blood surged in his veins, hot and frantic, and he pushed her gently onto the blanket. She lay down without protest, her green eyes watchful as he followed her, lying beside her.

“I had best warn you,” she said, her voice quiet. “That if you mean to seduce me, I don’t think I can say no to you.”

Raphe gaped, momentarily too stunned to speak.

“You can’t… you don’t mean to say…. You’re not putting your fate in my hands?” She gave a thoughtful sigh. “I don’t see what else I can do. I can’t think straight when you kiss me. It seems to get out of control with astonishing speed, and so—while I can still form words—I thought I’d better let you know that I’m unlikely to refuse you.”

“And… you think this is good information to hand over to a man like me?” he said, hearing the rough quality of his own voice. He could have her. Now. This instant. He could lift her skirts and climb between her legs and… oh, holy God.

“Yes, why not?” she said, staring placidly up at him.

It was akin to a lamb asking why it ought not to lie down beside a hungry wolf, he reflected bitterly.

“Why not?” The question was not entirely steady. “Why not?”

“Yes. Why not?” There was no trace of sarcasm in the question, no doubt in her eyes that she was being rash or foolish.

“Because of everything you know about me?” he suggested with deceptive mildness, for he wanted to shake her for her recklessness. “My reputation as a libertine, perhaps? That doesn’t give you pause?”

She shook her head. “Oh, no. It’s different with me. I am usually an excellent judge of character. I believe if you do ruin me, you’ll be kind and careful, but I don’t think you’ll seduce me unless you mean to offer for me. I’m not one of your opera dancers, after all.”

“You don’t think so,” he repeated, finding it hard to breathe.

“Well, anyway, I just thought I ought to warn you,” she said seriously, her green eyes kind and grave. “Knowing how overwrought you get. So, if you’re going to have a breakdown and weep with remorse for having seduced me, you’d best get used to the idea now.”

Raphe stared down at her. “I see,” he said carefully. “Yes. You wanted to prepare me so that I didn’t make an embarrassing emotional scene once I’d deflowered you.”

“Yes,” she said, smiling at him as if he were a dim-witted fool who’d finally grasped the point she was making.

He didn’t know whether to give into hysterics or cry. Perhaps she was right to be concerned.

“But if you’re prepared, we can carry on,” she offered.

Raphe made a choked sound. He was uncertain if it was a laugh or a sob. It could go either way. He sat up and put his head in his hands.

“Have I ruined the mood?” she asked, sitting up.

Raphe gave her a suspicious glare. “I cannot decide if you are ridiculously naïve or far more worldly than I am.”