Page 55 of Sinfully Daring

There was a pause.

“And do you think you would like that?”

“Oh, damn you, Hargreaves, this is mortifying, but if you must have it out loud…. Yes! Yes, I think I should like that very much, and I like your kisses too, and I should like you to do it again, and to put your arms around me, but it’s all rather too much after everything that has happened. You cannot go from friend to husband in the space of a few hours! Well, you can, of course. You will. Indeed, I asked you to do so, but it’s terribly… terribly… discombobulating.”

There was another silence and Rosamund covered her face with her hands in case the urge to peek overcame her. Facing him now was simply beyond her.

She heard him move nearer, felt his hands touch her waist and urge her closer. With a sigh, she leaned into him, removing her hands from her face in favour of burrowing against him. His arms closed about her, holding her, and suddenly she did not feel so overwhelmed, or so silly and frightened. The tension left her shoulders as a large hand stroked up and down her spine and she let out another shaky breath.

“Discombobulating,” he said, a thread of amusement behind the word.

“Yes,” she replied, her voice muffled against his chest.

She felt him nod. “Yes. I ought to have considered that. I’m a horrid brute.”

“No, you’re not. You just don’t want to get rushed into making another mistake. I know that.”

“Did you know I had not touched my wife in years?”

She looked up at him then, astonished.

“She couldn’t abide me. Could not bear my hands upon her, my kisses. I swear I was kind, Rosamund, gentle. I tried. I asked her to explain to me what the problem was, to talk to me, I kept trying, but she would not explain, not help me to understand her. I think perhaps her mother gave her a disgust of the entire process and so any evidence of desire on my part disgusted her, too but that is only a guess. I do not wish to guess at your feelings, or for either of us to suffer that.”

“That is not the problem,” she said, staring up at him, willing him to believe it.

“It isn’t?”

She shook her head. “No. When you kiss me….”

The words stuck in her throat, and she made a sound of frustration.

“Don’t be shy, love. Not with me. You never were before.”

“That was a bit different,” she retorted, a little indignant.

He smiled. “So it was. If it helps, I can tell you that I want you very badly. I never allowed my thoughts to linger on you before, but now… Rosamund, I want to marry you. I want to take you to bed and show you how much pleasure we can find together. I want that so badly I could weep, but I will walk away from it if it is not what you want too.”

Rosamund took a deep breath, encouraged by the sincerity of his words, the warmth in his voice. “Your kisses make me feel hot and m-muddled up inside. Like I can’t think straight, and I want—”

“Yes?” he said, and his voice was rough, his eyes so dark with wanting that it gave her courage. She looked away from him, though, braver when she could not see his face. Instead, she smoothed a hand over his waistcoat, too aware of the muscular body beneath the fine fabric, of the power she felt beneath her palm.

“I want to touch you, to feel the weight of you upon me,” she managed, the words said in a rush.

She dared a glance up at him.

He let out a harsh breath, and smiled then, his eyes shining. “You desire me.”

She nodded, relieved to have made the point. “Does that mean you still want to marry me?”

“Little nitwit,” he said with affection. “I never stopped wanting to, but you cannot blame me for being a little wary.”

“But you know me better than you did Adelia, I think?” she asked him.

He nodded then. “I do. And I know you desire me because you have explained yourself. So now I can be as patient as you need, sweetheart. So, if you need time, you have it. Do you understand?”

His gaze was tender, full of understanding, and Rosamund let out a breath. She had been right about him from the start. He was gentle, he would never hurt her, and he would be her husband.

“You’re saying I could delay the wedding night if I wanted to?”