Page 6 of Indecently Daring

“I think perhaps your nephew’s affairs ought not be discussed quite so freely, Cora, dear,” the lady said gently.

Cora flushed. “How dreadful of me. Oh, what am I thinking? Girls, please disregard me. My nephew is a fine young man, the finest, in fact, and I adore him. I only worry about his happiness and that makes me cross and… and indiscreet, apparently.” The lady gave a bark of laughter. “Not that I’ve ever been any different, but poor Harry would be mortified if he knew I’d spoken of him so. Oh, but he’s changed too much, Dorcas! You must see it too?”

“Of course, I do, but don’t fret so. The Harry we knew is still there, we must just remind him, that’s all.”

Alana and Cat exchanged a bewildered glance. Alana wondered what on earth his aunt meant, what the Reverend Martin had once been like that was so different to how he was now, and how his Aunt Cora proposed to remind him of that fact.

Chapter 3

My Lord Marquess,

By some stroke of misfortune, your last letter to me only came to my attention this morning, though it is dated the 22 December. It seems it was discovered down the back of a sideboard in the hallway, where it has languished all this time. I hope you have not thought too ill of me for not having replied until now, for I would have done so at once, if I had known.

Since reading it this morning, I am all anxiety, for your words disturbed me greatly. I tell myself that you must be in earnest when you say you are at your wit’s end, for I do not believe the estimable Humboldt would allow you to say such things to me if they were not true. He is obviously in your confidence, and of a mind to agree that there is something to fear.

To answer the question you posed and with all haste, for I wish to return this belated reply to you at once—yes. Yes, you may trust me, Wrexham. I swear it.

―Excerpt of a letter to Miss Emmeline Knight (daughter of Lady Helena and Mr Gabriel Knight) from The Most Hon’ble Leander Steyning, The Marquess of Wrexham.

6th January 1845, Holbrook House, Sussex.

“Do you miss him?” Alana turned to look at Cat as they walked through the frozen gardens around Holbrook.

“Yes,” she said simply, not needing Cat to say Ollie’s name to know of whom she spoke.

They stared down at the lake, admiring the way the sun glinted on the water like diamonds. The sky above was blue, and Alana blew out a breath that clouded about her face in a great white plume.

“But you did the right thing?” Cat pressed, and Alana could feel the weight of her gaze.

“Yes,” she said again, and with the knowledge came a sense of peace.

Ollie would be fine, he would be happy again, and so would she. They both knew it, though Ollie had taken longer to admit she was right, but that did not mean her heart did not ache for the dream she had lost.

Oliver had fallen head over ears in love with her back when they were both fifteen. The romance of it had swept her up too, the notion of being childhood sweethearts, and living a future together that they meticulously planned year by year. They spoke endlessly about the home they would create, the farm they would have, how it would work between them. They had been so certain, so convinced of everything to come, until Alana had realised with a blinding and unwelcome flash of clarity—they were not in love.

“You really didn’t love him?”

Alana laughed softly. “Yes, I did. Of course I did. We loved each other, but not in the way Elspeth loves Dare, or how Greer loves Raphe. We were just children when it began so we didn’t see, didn’t notice the difference. If we hadn’t so many examples of what a real love match looks like, we might have carried blithely on, might have married, and perhaps we would have been content… or perhaps we would have both lived to regret it.”

She shrugged, the bittersweet sense of loss stirring in her chest as it always did when she spoke of Ollie.

“It wouldn’t have been enough.”

“No.”

Cat nodded, her expression grave. “So, you must face the marriage mart after all.”

Alana groaned and threw up her hands. “Yes! And entirely unprepared. Cat, can I tell you a secret?”

Cat squeezed her arm reassuringly. “I should be offended if you didn’t.”

“I’m scared to death.”

Cat gave a little laugh and leaned into her, resting her head on Alana’s shoulder. “Oh, you silly goose. We all are.”

Alana frowned, turning to regard Cat with surprise. She found it hard to believe Cat was afraid of anything. Her friend looked up and snorted.

“Of course I am! Good heavens, Alana, I have such plans, but I do not know for certain if I am choosing the right path, if I will get what I want in the end, or make a great muck of it all. But what else is there to do but try?”