Page 24 of Truly, Madly, Daring

“Where are you going?” he asked as she climbed out of bed.

“To have a wash.”

“You’re getting up?” His tone was neutral, but Emmeline wondered if he sounded disappointed.

“No,” she replied quickly, praying he wouldn’t ask her anything else.

Emmeline hurried behind the screen, which was patently unnecessary but made her feel better. Doing her ablutions with a man in the room—even a blind one—was an excruciating experience, especially when she knew he would be listening intently to whatever she was doing. The cold water was a shock against her warm skin and the carbolic soap not nearly so pleasant as the scented one she used at home. She had a sudden longing to be back in her own bedroom in her cosy bed, with a fire in the hearth and a maid to bring her hot chocolate and toast and jam. Scolding herself for being faint-hearted, she pulled her nightgown back on and padded back to the bed before wondering if that had been pointless. She stood beside the mattress, regarding her husband anxiously.

“Ought I take it off?” she asked in a rush before she could change her mind and flee all the way back to London. Too late now.

“Take what—”

“My nightgown,” she snapped, before he could finish the question. “I don’t know what is proper in these circumstances, wh-what to expect. My mother didn’t know I was marrying, so….”

“Oh,” he said, sitting up straighter. He frowned then, his expression one of concern. “Emmeline, do you know what it means to consummate—”

“Yes, yes, I know the mechanics of the thing,” she said impatiently. “I just don’t know the protocol.”

“The protocol,” he repeated unsteadily.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me,” she warned.

He sobered instantly. “Forgive me, I would never… I’m sorry, Emmeline. Leave the nightgown on for the moment if you like.”

“Very well,” she said, mollified by his sincerity. “Shall I get back in the bed?”

“Well, it would make things easier,” he said gently, but with a smile that was teasing and full of kindness, so she did not mind him poking fun at her.

Hiking up the nightgown, Emmeline climbed back onto the high mattress.

“Come, sit beside me for a bit,” he suggested, holding out an arm in invitation.

Emmeline swallowed, cheeks hot with embarrassment, but moved across the bed. Gingerly, she moved into the space beside him, smothering a gasp at the feel of his bare chest against her arm. His hand rested lightly on her waist, where it had settled last night, but then there had been a thick corset between them, not just a fine piece of cotton.

“Breathe, pet,” he said, and she tsked at the amusement in his voice.

“Really, it’s very unfair that men know everything, and women are kept in the dark. Mama has always been very forthright about the marriage bed and the facts of life, which you probably think dreadfully shocking, but there is no substitute for experience, and I do hate not knowing what to do.” Emmeline bit her lip, horrified at her outburst and wondering what on earth he must think of her. “I’m sorry. I get obstreperous when I’m nervous.”

“Emmeline,” he said gently. “If it makes you feel better, I’m nervous, too.”

She turned to look at him, perplexed. “Don’t mock me,” she said crossly. “I may be sheltered by your estimation, but I am well aware of your reputation.”

He shook his head. “That was before. I’m not the same man now.”

She turned in his arms, frustrated by him all over again. “But you are!” Emmeline stared up at him, longing bursting to life in her chest as she took in the sight of his beautiful face. He was hers, her husband, and she intended to make him see himself as she saw him. Perhaps he was right, and this version of him would disappear bit by bit as his mind deteriorated, but she would help him fight it for as long as he was able. “You are,” she said again, the words breathless and full of wanting.

He stilled, his expression intent. Emmeline gathered her nerves and reached out, taking his hand and bringing it to her cheek. His breath hitched as she pressed it to her face and turned into it, kissing his palm.

“You must help me, my lord, for now we have reached the limits of my experience.”

He laughed, a startled sound of amusement that made her heart skip.

“Well, I’d best see what I can do then.”

“Yes… please.”

He pulled her closer and leaned in. Emmeline closed her eyes as their lips touched. His mouth was warm and far softer than she had imagined, his touch sure, brushing gently back and forth.