Page 12 of The Thorn and the Rose

“Neither do I much,” Thorn replied with a crooked smile. “But I liked her.”

“Ah,” Pip said, understanding lighting his eyes.

“Lord, Pip, you never saw such a lovely girl in all your days, but I’m sure she’s in trouble.”

“Then you’d do well to stay clear of her. You know what you’re like, the first one in to rescue a drowning kitten or some poor creature in distress, and with no regard for your own skin. The woman may well be in trouble for a reason, and not a good one. It would be for the best if you don’t get involved.”

Thorn scowled. “Oh, don’t give me that, just because you’ve turned respectable and—”

“For God’s sake!” Pip said crossly. “You think that’s it? You think that’s all the past years have been for, to be respectable in the eyes of the world? Do you know what it feels like to be responsible for a woman’s death?”

Thorn felt the colour leave his face. “Pip! You can’t think that. It wasn’t your fault.”

Pip snorted. “Wasn’t it? If I’d not got her with child, she’d still be alive.”

“And you’d not have Tilly. Is that what you’d want?”

Pip surged to his feet, raking a hand through his hair. “I’d rather die than lose Tilly, but the fact remains that Jenny—”

“Jenny was a lively girl with a taste for the finer things in life and for parties and excitement. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been someone else. Don’t make yourself a martyr, Pip. You looked after her well and left her financially secure. She kept the child a secret from you, and that decision was hers. Don’t let it ruin you.”

Pip moved to the window and stared out, unseeing. “I suppose I’d like to believe that,” he said dully, “but there’s a lump of lead in my heart, a weight of guilt I don’t believe I shall ever be free of. Tilly will bear the mark of her illegitimacy for the rest of her days, and that’s my fault.”

“Oh, bugger that,” Thorn snapped. “Does Phoebe suffer? Our eldest sister is really our uncle’s illegitimate child, and do you think anyone would dare treat her with anything but respect when they know our father would cut them up into little pieces if they spoke a word out of turn? She’s a bloody countess, Pip, and well placed in the world with a wonderful husband and family. Do stop wallowing in guilt when there’s no need.”

Pip looked at him in surprise, his lips quirking. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“You’re welcome,” Thorn said with a huff. “And if you want to do something in return, find Marie for me. Please, Pip. I asked Mother but I don’t know if she’ll really do as I asked. Go with her and… and just see she’s all right.”

Pip sighed and shook his head. “It will lead you into nothing but trouble.”

Thorn grinned. “One can only hope. But tell me, how did the parents take it when you brought Tilly in? Lord, I can’t decide if I wish I’d been there or if I’m relieved I missed it.”

“They were wonderful, as I knew they would be, but you saved me, temporarily at least, from the private little chat with Pa that I don’t doubt is coming my way.”

Thorn pulled a face. “Sorry, old man, but you’ll survive. Best to get it over and done with. It wasn’t right, keeping her a secret all this time.”

“He knew.”

“What?”

“Father knew about her.”

Thorn stared in astonishment. “No!” he breathed, too stunned to say anything more.

Pip nodded. “Don’t ask me how, or why he said nothing, but he certainly implied as much.”

Thorn considered this. “He’s never interfered with us, Pip. Not since we came of age. Our mistakes have been our own to make and to get out of, unless we really couldn’t, but even then, he did it in such a way to save our faces. If he did know, then I think he was waiting, hoping you would go to him.”

Pip groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. “Damned if I don’t think you’re right, which makes me feel worse than ever.”

Thorn shook his head. “No. Just tell him the truth, Pip. I think he’ll understand.”

“Will he?” Pip asked ruefully. “Because I’m beginning to wonder if I do.”

“It will be all right.”

Pip smiled and came back to the bed. He leaned down and squeezed Thorn’s shoulder gently. “I’m so glad you’re home. I knew, you know, that you would come home. I can’t explain it but… well, Pippin would have something to say, I don’t doubt, but I knew I’d see you again.”