Page 31 of A Wicked Business

Belinda shook her head, trying to tug free, determined to get away from him. He clearly did not think of her with the kind of admiration she had hoped for and now she felt like a fool.

“Lady Belinda, please… be still for a moment. Belinda! Stop running off. Whatever is wrong with you?”

“I beg your pardon, Mr Knight, I seem to have taken leave of my senses. Please let me go,” she said urgently, but he refused to release her.

“My lady, calm yourself,” he said, his deep voice gentle. “It’s obvious you are distressed. Indeed, I now fear you are in the greatest of peril for I cannot think what else would induce you to make someone so unworthy of your hand such a generous offer.”

He smiled at her, and with such understanding she could not refuse the invitation to unburden herself. She could at least consider him a friend, if nothing else… couldn't she?

“Not peril, exactly,” she managed, but then her bottom lip trembled, and she looked away from him before she cried.

“Come,” he said, steering her towards a small copse of trees, glancing around to ensure they were not observed.

Belinda followed him under the gloomy canopy. The air had that strange silent quality that often preceded a summer storm and yet she felt it was he that provoked it, he that made her skin prickle with awareness, he that made the birds fall quiet as her heart thundered loud enough to predict an answering bolt of lightning. Her already low spirits sank further at the realisation that her regard for him was quite one-sided. He clearly experienced none of the excitement she felt around him, nor the sense of being in the presence of someone vitally important to one’s happiness.

Likely the feelings he’d alluded to, the ones that made him impatient and short with her, were closer kin to those he might have towards a comely opera dancer or highflyer.

“Tell me,” he said, taking hold of her shoulders in a firm grip. “What is it that has you looking so hollow-eyed and weary, and handing out marriage proposals to any strange fellow who happens to be near?”

“Why, Mr Knight, you charmer, you,” she said, not beyond seeing the amusement in the situation. “What lady would not wish to unburden themselves when you have such a delicacy of touch? Hollow-eyed and weary, indeed! Just how I prefer to be described, and I took such pains to look pretty this morning.”

“Stow it,” he said impatiently, though amusement warmed his green eyes. “You don’t care for flattery any more than I do, and you must know there’s not a woman in the country who can hold a candle to you. You’re a great beauty, my lady. There, does it please your aggravating little heart to hear me say so? Well then, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, but that does not change the facts. You look like you’ve not slept and you’re on the verge of tears. So, tell me before I am forced to shake it out of you. What the devil has happened? Has your father discovered you are behind that blasted story already?”

Belinda gave a startled laugh, finding herself pleased indeed by his words, and not even a little dismayed by the violence of their delivery. Well, perhaps she ranked a little higher than a comely opera dancer, after all.

“No, no, he has no idea. I am not so hopeless as to be found out that easily. No, it is worse than that. I overheard my father speaking, and he intends to have me married off. There is to be an announcement in the papers on the twelfth of August. Perhaps on that day I might discover to whom I am betrothed as well, for he has not confided the information to me,” she added bitterly.

“Married?” His voice was hard, abruptly urgent, and filled with surprise.

“Apparently so,” Belinda replied with a sigh, putting her fingers to her throbbing temples. Lord, but she was tired. She stared at the broad expanse of his chest, at the beautifully tailored coat and fine waistcoat that covered it and imagined leaning into him, putting her head there and allowing him to support her when she felt suddenly so weak. The urge to do so was so tantalising she found herself swaying towards him.

“But you’re of age, are you not?”

Belinda nodded, only half attending the conversation. She could detect the faint aroma of clean, starched linen, and thought perhaps the lemony scent of what might be shaving soap. Such an intimate detail as the scent of his skin warmed her and she held it close to her heart, a forbidden secret that she could take out and remember when he was far from her.

“I am,” she said absently, discreetly trying to take a deeper breath, to breathe him in. “And I have money enough, for my mother left her fortune to me, but you do not know my father. If I stay, he will manipulate and coerce me and make me agree. He’s ruthless, Mr Knight, and he will begin by isolating me.”

The truth of these words brought her back to the moment and misery overwhelmed her once again.

“He’ll dismiss Miss Bodrott?” Mr Knight guessed, his expression one of concern.

Belinda nodded bleakly. “I have said nothing to her as yet, but it is what I fear the most. Perhaps you think it odd, but she is not only my maid, but she is also my dearest friend. I do not make friends with other young ladies easily, Mr Knight, being rather too outspoken and bold, as you have perhaps noticed. Doris does not care about that, for she is more outspoken and bolder by far and I adore her. So you see, I must get away from him before he can imprison me in that dreadful house until I am desperate enough to do as he wishes. But there is nowhere I can go, where I can hide, where he could not find me and drag me home.”

“That’s not true. I’m sure I could think of something, a place where you could live and—”

“And do what?” she asked in frustration. “I cannot hide forever. I am Lady Belinda Madox-Brown, and I refuse to conceal my existence for the rest of my life. I have plans, things I wish to do, wish to achieve, and I cannot do that if I spend my days in hiding, waiting for him to die.”

He stared at her, a mixture of admiration and annoyance glittering in his eyes. Belinda smiled. She knew she vexed him. No doubt he wished she was as biddable and easily looked after as most of the other debutantes he knew. But if that were the case, she would not be so determined to defy her father.

“It’s all right, Mr Knight. I do not need you to act as your name suggests. I will find my own way out of this fix, just you see if I don’t.”

4th August 1850, Hyde Park, London.

“Wait.”

Belinda had already turned away from him, but before she could take two steps, he reached for her, holding her back. A mistake, shouted a panicked voice in his head. Let her go!

Felix stared at the beautiful yet aggravating woman before him. His heart was thudding, like he’d been fighting or running for his life, and all he was doing was speaking with Lady Belinda. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go at the same time as he wished he could just leave her to deal with the problem by herself and not worry about her. How she had this effect on him, he did not know. He only knew he didn’t like it. Yet he could not simply let her walk away, out of his life. The idea of marrying her was appalling. He did not want to change his life and the idea of fitting Lady Belinda into it filled him with dread. They hardly knew each other, and he felt certain she would drive him distracted, yet the idea of letting her go off and marry some other fool was even worse and he feared it might send him mad. Perhaps he was halfway there already.