Page 19 of Scandal’s Daughter

Chapter 9

“Wherein the truth is hard to hear, and harder still to act upon.”

If Jeffries was troubled further by his demeanour when he returned, he didn’t remark on it as Sebastian flung Azor’s reins at him and stalked into the castle without a word. He was less lucky with Beau.

Entering the book room, he’d hoped at this hour his friend would be dressing for dinner and he could help himself to a drink and try to calm his temper. His nerves seemed all too close to his skin, the slightest drag of fabric over his flesh tormenting him with memories of repressed desire. He was wound too tight, his body aching with the need for Georgiana, her body and heart both, and his own heart was raw at the idea neither could ever be his.

Sebastian had to get away. He knew it. For both their sakes, before he dragged them into disaster. For while he could walk away from a scandal with no outward sign of hurt if he ruined her, he knew he would never forgive himself. The stain of it would taint his heart and soul for the rest of his days.

So, finding Beau’s speculative gaze weighing him up the moment he stepped through the door was not something to make him feel any easier in his skin.

“Well, well, the wanderer returns,” he drawled, raising a crystal glass to his lips and sipping, his eyes never leaving his friend.

“Beau,” Sebastian nodded a greeting and went to pour a large measure of his own. He downed it in one large swallow, savouring the burn for a moment before pouring another.

“You look like you needed that,” Beau said. Sebastian threw him a warning glance and found he was being watched intently, those cool, blue eyes assessing. “She must be quite something to have you in such a lather,” he added, swirling the amber liquid in his glass with a bored air.

“I’m going to dress,” Sebastian said, turning, drink in hand. He didn’t reply to his friend’s observations. There was nothing to be gained by it.

“Not so fast, Sindalton.”

He paused, Beau rarely used his title, and though he wanted to avoid the coming discussion, he could hardly slam the door in his face when he clearly had something to say.

“What?” he demanded, not bothering to hide the annoyance.

“What the devil are you playing at, man?” Beau gave him a hard look as he got to his feet and went to stand beside the vast stone fireplace. “You’ve got enough ladybirds here to satisfy any man ... even me for God’s sake! And yet you’re careering all over the countryside from morning till night like some lovesick mooncalf. What the blazes has gotten into you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Beau,” he snapped, turning away and taking a large swallow of his drink. He walked to the window and stared outside, the night was drawing in and the room seemed cold despite the fire that blazed in the hearth.

“Don’t you Beau me,” his friend continued, clearly unimpressed by his denial. “I know you too well. And I know that I’ve never seen that look of desperation in your eyes before. You’ve gone and fallen for some unsuitable piece, haven’t you? Haven’t you?” he demanded.

Sebastian swung back around, fighting the desire to clench his fists. “Mind your own damned business!”

“Good God I knew it!” Beau ran a hand through his thick blond hair and looked at him in exasperation. “Tell me she’s a widow or some such?” he said, and Sebastian was jolted by the real concern in his eyes. “Tell me she’s not going to cause you trouble because if you think I’m accompanying you to Scotland for the duration you’ve got another thing coming I assure you!” Despite his acid tongue Sebastian heard the agitation behind his friend’s words.

Sebastian snorted in disgust and shook his head. “She’ll cause me no trouble I promise you, and there is no scandal,” he said, hoping this at least would reassure him. Though he’d come close enough to playing the fool today. “We leave next week in any case,” he added, wishing those words hadn’t sounded quite so dejected.

“No.” Beau shook his head, a determined gleam in the blue. “We leave Friday. That gives you one day to say your broken-hearted goodbyes and consign her to the past where she belongs.”

“Dammit, Beau!” he exploded in fury, grasping the glass in his hand so tight it was a wonder it didn’t shatter. “You are not my father. I don’t need or want your help in this.”

Beau stalked towards him and poked him in the chest with one elegant, manicured finger. “Well, that’s a pity because you have it. I’ll not see you tangle yourself in a dreadful scandal because some chit has discovered she’s snared a duke.”

“She’s not like that!” Sebastian roared, truly furious by now and realising he’d said too much, but Beau merely snorted.

“They never are, until they are,” he replied with a cynical sneer twisting his handsome face.

“She’s not, Beau. I swear it. She’s sweet and innocent and ... I’m a damned bastard.” Sebastian shook his head, suddenly exhausted. He didn’t want to fight, he wanted to talk about her. To explain to Beau just how wonderful she was, how she didn’t look at him and see money or a title but teased him and put him in his place. He wanted to tell him that he’d never felt like this before, but he didn’t dare. Swallowing the rest of his drink, he headed back to the decanter to pour another.

Despite his reputation he didn’t like to drink until he felt out of control and liked the aftermath even less. But tonight, he wanted to lose himself in it, so that he might drown the ache of desire and sorrow that had taken root in his bones. He turned back to Beau and shook his head in despair. “I’d marry her if I could.”

Beau gaped at him. “You bloody fool. What have you been playing at?”

He laughed and flung himself down in the chair Beau had recently vacated. “Damned if I know,” he replied, his tone bitter.

“Is she married?”

He looked up and met Beau’s eyes, knowing he must indeed think him a fool. Cold hearted and sophisticated, no one had ever touched his friend’s cynical heart, nor would they. Sebastian would think he didn’t have one if not for his rather arbitrary acts of selfless generosity that would come out of the blue from time to time. He’d been a good friend to Sebastian, if one he still didn’t fully understand.