Page 38 of Ruin

I turned and pressed my face into his chest, trying very, very hard not to cry. I’d found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and instead of staying here with him, like any rational human being might do...

I was running back to the man I’d run from in the first place.

Knowing that doing so might mean the end of my life, and that this man in front of me might have been nothing more than a short reprieve from the death Devil had always promised me.

I pulled back, then, knowing that I had to get up now or I’d never do it. I placed one quick kiss on Knight’s mouth, both wishing he would wake up and terrified of him doing just that, and then I slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to look at him again on the way out of the room.

Because looking at him again would make it far too hard to do what I had to do.

I DIDN’T BOTHER WITH a shower. Devil wouldn’t care if I was clean or not, and I was giving myself a 75 percent chance of being dead by tonight, regardless.

In which case it definitely wouldn’t matter if I’d showered this morning or not.

I got dressed and crept out of the room, praying that Knight would keep sleeping. I closed the door gently behind me, slung my backpack over my shoulder, and then turned for the living room. I could hear sounds out there and paused, wondering if I needed to try the back door instead. Some close listening told me that the TV was on, though, turned to one of those game shows that they play early in the morning.

I couldn’t imagine any of the guys watching a show like that on purpose. Hopefully that meant they were either not in the room or asleep.

I tiptoed down the hall, my lip caught in my teeth and the breath quiet and careful in my throat, and came to the door that led into the living room, where I paused. Peeking around the corner, I could see the enormous form of Brock on the couch, the TV the only light in the room. The colors flickered across his face, showing me that he was indeed asleep, and I breathed out in relief.

At least one thing had gone my way this morning.

I got up on my tiptoes and crept past him, not even daring to look for fear of seeing his eyes open. I got to the door into the kitchen without any sign of movement from him, though, and slipped through it quickly.

The kitchen was dark, though someone had been up to start coffee, and my stomach growled loudly at the rich, dark smell of it. I slapped a hand to my belly, horrified, and then glanced from right to left, praying no one had heard that.

Unfortunately, I’d evidently already run out of good luck for the day.

Jimmy, one of the other men staying in the house, ducked through the door to the porch, his eyes swiveling back and forth in the darkness until he found me. “What are you doing up?” he asked.

I put a quick finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet and gestured to the living room, where Brock was sleeping. Jimmy followed my gesture and then nodded, his mouth an exaggerated ‘O.’ He motioned for me to come outside, though, and I had no choice but to follow him.

I tried to think of a believable lie for not only being up this early, but also being about to steal a bike and get the hell out of here. Without Knight or Remy or Brock going with me.

I walked through the door with as much confidence as I could manage and found Jimmy waiting right outside, blowing on his hands in the cold pre-dawn air. “Why are you up so early?” he asked again, his eyes raking down my form like he might find me dressed in a costume that explained my presence.

“Have some business to attend to,” I said evasively.

His eyebrows shot up. “What sort of business happens this early?”

Right. Time for the lie. “Business that no one is supposed to know about, if you catch my drift,” I said. “I’m on a mission for Knight. Something secret.”

“Something to do with the plan today?” he asked.

That drew me up short, and I nearly forgot about my own story. “Plan?”

His brows came back down. “You don’t know about the plan?”

Shit. I had to know about the plan, I guessed, because he thought that I was going out for something to do with it. “Of course I know about the plan. I just didn’t know you did.”

He puffed up like a peacock. “Course I know about the plan. I might be new around here, but I’m an important member of the club.”

Now I remembered who he was, exactly. Jimmy had only recently been promoted from pledge up to full member. He’d gotten caught up in the drama with Devil on his first week with that status, and though he knew the club well from his time as a prospect, he’d been held back with Remy when Knight went to Devil’s compound.

He was one of the only men to get out of there without being arrested, and I suspected that was because he’d been one of the first to run when he saw the cops.

Which had, of course, saved him.

I appreciated his tip about the plan and his belief that I must be in on it, but the truth was running into him was less than ideal. I’d wanted to get out of here without anyone realizing that I’d left.