Page 39 of Obey

“I don’t think so,” I told him. “I didn’t see anyone behind me. No lights, no bikes. But I can’t stop feeling like... I can’t stop feeling like...”

Like I failed, I couldn’t say. Like Knight’s out there fighting and it’s all my fault. Like he’s not going to come home and I’ll never see him again and he’s doing it because of my actions.

And just like that, all the adrenaline in my body gave out. I felt like I’d been milking a battery all night and it suddenly ran out of juice.

My body drained of energy and whatever had kept it going, and I realized for the first time how much I might lose tonight.

My knees collapsed and I cried out, half sob and half scream of denial, as I fell. But Gem was there, catching me in his arms and pulling me up to his chest like I was a child. I turned into his chest and sobbed the deep, racking sobs of someone who’s lost everything. Seen it fly by her on the road and drive right into the battle that might kill it.

Watched my Knight pass me by without even stopping to say goodbye.

I cried like life itself was ending, like the world had imploded around me, because that was how I felt. I’d been so strong since Devil took me, so motivated to reach the next minute, the next hour, so I could escape and come back to Knight. And now I was here and he wasn’t, and I didn’t know if he’d ever come back. And the strength I’d used over the last week was suddenly gone, leaving a pit of hopelessness in its place.

Gemini hugged me to him, his arms warm and solid under me. “Shh,” he murmured. “You’re okay. You’re safe now. I’m not going to let anyone get to you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” I huffed, annoyed that he didn’t understand. “It’s Knight. I want Knight.”

“He’s gone to fight for you, Saraya. Same as any man would.”

It wasn’t what I wanted, though. Not even close. I wanted him home and here with me. I wanted his arms around me rather than Gem’s. I wanted him whispering in my ear, telling me that everything was okay and that we were going to be together forever. Safe from Devil and his guns and his games. I didn’t want him putting his life at risk to have to end it all.

Of course no one had asked me because I’d been kidnapped and imprisoned in one of Devil’s houses—which was what Knight had gone to save me from.

I didn’t know whether not having had a say in the matter made it better or worse, but it certainly added to the emotions I was currently feeling, and I wailed and sobbed even harder.

Gemini, bless him, didn’t put me down and scoot away as fast as he could, or even tell me I was being ridiculous and over emotional. He strode quickly toward a chair and dropped into it, keeping me securely in his arms.

And then he began to rock me, shushing me quietly and murmuring that it was going to be okay and that everything would turn out all right in the end.

“This isn’t the first time he’s gone into battle, lass,” he said quietly. “He knows what he’s doing.”

That may or may not have been true, but I didn’t care. Because he’d never had me at home worrying about him before. I’d never been stuck at home praying that he’d come home safely.

And living through a previous battle did not mean he was going to live through this one.

Overall, I had some serious problems with Gemini’s reasons for calming down, though he had at least given me a spark of anger over the whole thing.

And that speck turned into a burning ember, and then into a flame, and before long, I was angry enough to sit up, dry my tears, and turn my brain back on.

“How many men did he take with him?” I asked.

“Thirty,” Gemini answered quickly.

I frowned. “I didn’t realize there were that many people in the Banshees.”

He nodded at my quick calculations. “There aren’t. We’ve called in reinforcements.”

Other clubs? I wondered who he’d called. And then I wondered whether Devil had done the same. Probably not, honestly. As far as I knew, Devil hadn’t realized that Knight was going to go so far as to start a war with him. He’d probably thought he was so big and tough that Knight wouldn’t have dared, even when Devil had killed two of Knight’s best friends and kidnapped his girls.

Devil had a habit of swinging between ultimately paranoid and incredibly arrogant, and it seemed that when it came to Knight, he preferred arrogant.

Which meant he may as well have made a mistake.

“I don’t think Devil had more than twenty with him,” I said quickly, forcing my memory to hand me the number of headlights I’d seen when I looked back to see who was chasing me. “Does Knight have reinforcements on the way?”

Gemini’s face went from serious to morose, and my heart sank. That wasn’t the look I’d wanted to see in answer to my question.

“Not quickly enough,” he muttered. “One club had already arrived and he has most of them with him. The other clubs, though...” He paused and made a face.