Page 35 of Pain

“It’s more than just that,” I said, wondering whether I could actually trust her to listen. “It’s this whole situation. Devil. You. The war.”

She reached out and slid her hand over mine, the touch more comfort than she could have realized. “I’m guessing it’s a lot, and that it’s even worse because you’re tired,” she said quietly. “Finish your food. Let’s go to bed.”

Such a simple statement, and yet so meaningful, and for the first time in a very, very long time, I didn’t feel alone with the weight of running the MC. Deciding the lives of all these men—and their women. Deciding how and when and why and where.

For the first time ever, I felt like I had a partner in crime.

And when we finished our rice and made our way back to my bedroom, crawling right into bed and melting into a tangle of limbs like we’d been doing it our entire lives, that feeling grew and started to take roots.

By the time I was nodding off, Saraya’s head tucked under my chin and her hands clutching the front of my shirt, I was feeling my soul start to grow around the roots she’d just put down in my heart.

Feeling her start to become a part of me.

I needed to shut down my brain and close off any further thought before I started to second-guess allowing her in that deeply... or letting her see the deepest fears in my heart.

CHAPTER 16

SARAYA

I lay as still as I could, barely breathing as I listened to Knight’s own breathing slow, then grow steady as he fell asleep.

And then I let myself relax and start trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Because the last time I felt like I understood exactly what was going on was when Mandy and I had Gemini on the floor to patch him up and try to stop the bleeding.

Then I’d been on my way to find something else to do and had been caught by Knight, who asked me to come to his room with him. I’d been surprised... but had also started immediately assuming that I knew exactly why he was taking me to his room.

We had a sizzling chemistry between us. It had been there since the moment he’d saved me from the street, and it had gotten a whole lot hotter when he spent the night in my bed. I didn’t know what it was, exactly, but I knew we were both feeling it.

I’d felt how hard he was when we were sleeping in the same bed. He knew I’d felt it. And neither of us had even tried to talk about it.

But we also hadn’t denied it.

So it wouldn’t be a big surprise to find out that he wanted to sleep with me. I mean actually sleep with me. Not sleep, but have sex. Get me down beneath him, hold my wrists above my head, tease me until I couldn’t breathe and was soaking wet for him, and then slide his cock so deeply inside me that I couldn’t help but cry out.

Or something like that.

And honestly, I’d been expecting it. The guy had fucking saved my life. Multiple times. He’d put his own reputation and club at risk to keep me safe and one of his guys had actually gotten shot. He was head of an MC, and I’d been part of an MC for most of my life. We both knew the way this life went.

He would have been well within his rights to demand that I pay him back for what he’d done for me. And he would have been within his rights to demand I do it with my body.

I knew the drill, and honestly, I’d been expecting it right from the start. When he told me to come to his bedroom with him, I thought tonight was the night when he’d finally come to collect. And the weird thing was, I would have welcomed it.

Like I said, I’d been expecting it from the start. Waiting on the edge of my seat. It would have been a pretty big relief to just... get it over with. Figure out what exactly he wanted so I could pay up and stop feeling guilty for taking up space.

And sure, yeah, I might enjoy it. I might have had a reel playing in the back of my head since I arrived, imagining what it would be like to take that step with him. To feel his body pressing down on mine as he spread my legs and slid into me.

It wasn’t my fault. He was the handsomest man I’d ever seen, and he’d literally saved my life. The chemistry between us was just one more reason for him to collect what I owed him.

Fuck, I’d even set him up for it. Told him I was going to take a shower first and practically invited him in with me.

Instead, he’d decided to go to the kitchen and cook his own food. And when I got to the kitchen, thinking I’d approach the subject there again, I found him burning his rice and daydreaming, and I’d been so busy saving the rice—and his kitchen—that I’d forgotten about trying to seduce him and just fallen into talking with him instead.

Then we’d gotten into bed, and he’d fallen directly asleep, like a little kid who’s expended too much energy.

I didn’t know what the fuck was going on here, and it was starting to make me feel defensive. I owed him so much for what he’d done, and he wasn’t letting me pay off my debts. Instead, he was...

What? What game was Knight playing? Why would he just hold me here and not do anything other than... talk? Cuddle?

I’d never met anyone who didn’t want something, and I didn’t know how to deal with not understanding Knight.