Page 60 of Hearts at War

Heather

“But I wasn’t—”

I cut myself off from protesting that I was speeding. The cop flashed his lights on me as soon as I left the slow speed limit of downtown proper. It wasn’t a trick. I knew that it went from twenty-five to forty, but not yet.

Riled up with fear and acting on an adrenaline rush, I put my foot down hard on the gas pedal and tried to hurry home to the cabin as quickly as I could. Distancing myself from the spot I thought I’d seen David was critical. It was an emergency in my opinion, but according to Officer Marty here, I was just a civilian speeding too fast.

If he knew I was rushing away because I was scared of an abusive ex who wanted to control me, maybe this could’ve turned out differently. But I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t summon enough mental strength to string together a comment that I was terrified and making poor decisions behind the wheel. Reckless driving was a serious matter, and I felt guiltier just for imagining an excuse out of this predicament.

“What’s going on here?”

I frowned, leaning forward to see the reflection in the mirror outside my door.

Roarke?

What’s he doing here?

And why is he walking up to get in the middle of this damn ticket incident?

“Hey there, Roarke,” Officer Marty replied. “How’s it going?”

“Not bad. Not bad.”

“You sure about that?” Marty turned, taking his focus off me to glance at Roarke.

He didn’t seem bothered to intervene, standing right out my window and chatting with the cop.

“What happened there?” Marty asked, gesturing at the thick gauze wrapped around Roarke’s arm.

“Oh, just had an argument with a bit of fence earlier.”

“Damn.” Marty shook his head. “Looks rough.”

“Nah. It’s not so bad.” He leaned his hip against the side of my car, settling in. As if just now noticing me, he lowered his gaze and nodded once at me. “Hello, Heather.”

The playful edge of his tone had me suspicious.

What are you doing?

Why do you have to be here?

What is going on?

Seeing him showing up didn’t make much sense. I supposed he could’ve been driving in the same direction as I had been. That put him here. But to stop and get out, butting in? That was the part I couldn’t comprehend.

My comprehension skills weren’t top-notch anyway. They couldn’t be at this moment. I was too scattered, torn apart, and bewildered with all the emotions coursing through me. As I waited here while Marty held my license and registration, high emotions had me ready to pant. It was either that or I hyperventilate under the stress.

First, the gut-clenching fear of spotting David.

I think it was him.

Then, the general anxiety of not feeling safe and so exposed.

When will I get used to coping with those?

Not now. Now was definitely not an ideal opportunity to cope. I was two inches from pure panic. I was on the cusp of breaking down. All my energy and effort went into keeping my cool, and as such, I had zero desire to figure out why Roarke had to be here. It couldn’t be that juicy of gossip to gawk at me getting pulled over for speeding.

I couldn’t slow down my mind or my heart to even know what I was supposed to be feeling. Anger. Confusion. Fear. Frustration. Disappointment. They were all ugly, horrible emotions, and they bombarded me in a wave.