Page 37 of Christmas By The Book

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” she agreed. “Though I’m sure there are people in this town who’d have a few choice words for her.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, she was never afraid to speak her mind,” she replied, shaking her head. “She would always let people know what was going on in her head. I guess I could take some cues from her.”

“How do you mean?” I asked curiously.

“I mean, I have a hard time... standing up for myself,” she admitted, making a face and looking up at me. “I never really know how to do it in a way that doesn’t sound demanding or entitled. And I feel like, whenever I put my foot down, I’m just so worried that people are going to hate me. That’s why I didn’t tell Wharton to go stick his deal up his... well, yeah. I should have. I should have been straight-up with him.”

“Well, he’s got the message now,” I reminded her. “That’s all that matters.”

“I guess so,” she agreed. “I’m just not great at the whole... people thing, I suppose.”

“You did pretty well with me,” I replied.

She raised her eyebrows at me. “I literally fell into your arms,” she pointed out. “I don’t think that’s an approach I can take with many people now, is it?”

“Hey, you could give it a try,” I replied.

She shook her head. “No, I mean... I’m okay with small groups of people, like two or three,” she explained. “But anything more than that and I feel like I’m going to start hyperventilating.”

“I get that,” I replied.

“How could you get that?” She laughed. “I saw you yesterday, with all those people. You were amazing with them.”

I shrugged. “It took practice to get there,” I admitted. “I was like you for a long time. Just totally up in my own head with everything. It felt like I could never clear my brain long enough to actually talk to people, I was always stuck overthinking what they were going to think of me if I said things a certain way.”

“Oh, my goodness, that’s exactly it!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe it. How did you... I mean, how did you end up modeling? And traveling? And event planning? I couldn’t do any of that, if it was me.”

“Because I decided I didn’t want to let my brain hold me back,” I replied. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy at first. I felt like I was pushing myself off a cliff every time I tried something new. But the more I did, the more I realized that nothing bad was actually going to come of it, and the more I started to relax.”

“Wow,” she murmured. “That’s... that’s amazing, Seth. Really.”

“Yeah, it’s been really rewarding,” I replied. “Not easy at first. But the more you do it, the more you get used to it. And it feels like second-nature to go out there and try something new.”

She shifted a little closer to me, and I put my arm around her, resting it against her shoulders. I closed my eyes, turning my head slightly so I could inhale the scent of her hair. She smelled so good to me, like sweet milk and honey. I wanted to bury my face against her skin and just drink it all in, but I had no intention of rushing things.

“You think you’re going to want to find something new again?” she asked me softly.

“How do you mean?”

“I mean, you think you’ll be pulling out your map and starting over somewhere new?” she asked, biting her lip as she looked up at me. Her eyes were filled with hope, and it was a hope I refused to ruin for her—not when the answer was so obvious to me.

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied softly, smiling down at her. “I like it here. I think I can see myself staying for a while.”

“Even if all the women in this town are going to be hunting you down for autographs and pictures?” she teased.

“I think I can handle that,” I promised. “I’ll try not to let the attention go to my head.”

“You better not,” she shot back. “At least your ramen-making skills will keep your feet on the ground.”

“Hey, I thought they were pretty good!” I protested, and she laughed.

“Yeah, they could have been a lot worse,” she agreed. The two of us fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, and I skimmed my fingers along her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer to me.

“What about you?” I asked.

She tilted her head up to look at me. “What about me?”