Page 13 of Old Girls Behaving Badly

‘Let me tell you who’s who,’ Dorothy said as I sat down on the chair next to her. ‘You didn’t really get much of an introduction last night, did you?’

‘No, not really, but I sort of gathered who was who from the conversation around the table. I don’t really need an introduction, though. I am here to do a job,’ I said and Dorothy gave me a sharp look.

‘Yes, and your job will be made easier by knowing the family. They might have information they don’t realise is relevant. They might say something about Leonard to you that they wouldn’t think to say to me.’

I thought this was unlikely, but I nodded anyway. I had a strong feeling that I wanted to please Dorothy.

‘My job,’ I repeated.

‘Should you choose to accept it,’ Dorothy said, her eyes sparkling.

‘Mission impossible. I was thinking more of my job as your companion.’

‘Ah, well, I’m afraid that position is now obsolete.’

I could feel myself being talked into this task I didn’t want to attempt. I really couldn’t see how I could get out of it and the expectation in Dorothy’s expression was vast.

She sat back and gave me a brief round-up of her family and extended family in bullet points.

She adored her daughter-in-law because she was an excellent wife and kept Miles on track.

Miles wasn’t good with money, but was micromanaged under his wife’s beady eye.

Toby was an excellent musician, but a bit pompous.

Caroline was simply a sweetheart.

Sandra had nothing to say for herself and seemed incredibly boring.

Paul was a decent sort and couldn’t help being related to a monster.

Rufus was a closed book, but seemed likeable when he bothered to converse.

Sophie was bossy, but great fun and loyal.

Luke did as he was told, which in Dorothy’s opinion was the best course of action.

Juliet had great potential once she had moved on from being a tiresome teenager.

‘So, Miles and Sophie are your children, and Toby and Juliet are your grandchildren. Sandra and Paul are Caroline and Rufus’s parents, and Paul and Leonard are siblings,’ I clarified.

‘Absolutely spot on.’

‘Why does Leonard have this house and not his brother? Is it because he’s older than Paul?’

‘Well that, my dear, is a very good question and one I don’t have the answer for.’

I pondered this while I watched the players thwacking their balls across the lawn under the watchful eye of the master of the house, most missing the hoops and becoming increasingly annoyed. My phone began ringing in my pocket and I pulled it out to see Douglas’s name on the screen, so I put it back, unanswered.

‘Please take the call if you need to,’ Dorothy said, but I shook my head.

‘My husband,’ I said. ‘Really no need.’

‘Oh, when you said you were on your own, I thought you meant he’d died.’

‘No, not dead, just buggered off.’

‘I’m sorry, Gina. That’s hard, at your time of life.’