Page 30 of Old Girls Behaving Badly

‘But, Granny, you haven’t heard the best one yet,’ she said and tapped on the screen again.

Juliet was clearly in a bush again because the screen was full of leaves.

‘We need to brush aside the fact that Leonard is unhinged and actually in light of what I believe he has done, is pretty dangerous too. He mustn’t know you are anything other than a companion and I will keep smiling at him even though I would ideally love to plunge a knife in his heart.’

‘Juliet! Turn that off!’ Dorothy said, but our voices continued.

‘And…?’

‘And, you will search the house from top to bottom until you find the painting.’

‘Oh, God!’ I said.

‘And this is for a channel is it?’ Dorothy said, her voice low and stern. ‘Sneaking about and recording private conversations?’

‘I want to help,’ said Juliet.

‘Nothing to help with,’ her grandmother replied. ‘It’s just an old joke about a painting, that’s all.’

‘I’m not stupid, Granny. There is something clearly going on and if you need to find a painting I can help.’

‘No.’

‘You just said it yourself, I’m sneaking around, and you didn’t know that I was. Surely that makes me a better sleuth than her,’ she said, shaking her thumb in my direction. ‘No offence, Gina.’

‘None taken,’ I said.

‘Juliet, this is really nothing to do with you,’ Dorothy said, looking a little flustered, but I knew it was too late for that – Juliet had made it everything to do with her.

‘Is it to do with Grandpa? Is it that painting?’

‘So, you’ve been listening for quite a while then!’

‘When no one ever tells you what is going on, I find it’s best to quietly listen, otherwise you’ll always be in the dark. That’s not a smart place to be.’

‘Can’t really argue with that,’ I said.

‘I can,’ Dorothy said.

‘I want to help you. Please let me. I can be really useful.’

Dorothy opened her mouth and judging by her expression it was to argue with her granddaughter, so I decided to step in. This was only going to go one way.

‘Juliet, can we trust you, implicitly?’

‘Of course,’ Juliet replied earnestly.

‘Your grandmother and I need to discuss what’s best. Can you trust us to do that and to talk to you later just before dinner when we have a plan, a plan that will involve you?’

‘Yes,’ she said, her face brightening.

‘In that case I can trust you not to breathe a word to anyone during that time; that’s really important. I would never usually ask a young person to keep a secret, but with your grandmother present I hope that’s okay in this case.’

‘Yes, it’s fine,’ Juliet said again and more seriously this time.

‘Okay, well, leave us now and do as we ask, and we’ll meet at five-thirty before whatever Leonard has planned for this evening.’

‘Thanks, you won’t regret it,’ she said and then kissed her grandmother on the cheek, choosing to ignore Dorothy’s words that followed her down the steps.