Page 42 of The Trip of a Lifetime

‘Is Martha like Harrison?’ he asked. ‘Is she in charge?’

Erin was about to say that yes, Martha did make most of the decisions but that Erin was quite happy to be the person tagging along. Then she stopped herself. Firstly, she didn’t want to sound like a loser and secondly, she had the stirrings of something quite different from the pull she felt towards Sam: unease. He was just testing her out, wasn’t he? Maybe Harrison wasn’t the controlling teammate Sam made him out to be and as soon as she outed Martha the same, he’d probably laugh at her, take that information back to his great-uncle and then they’d have something else to joke about.

She was being an idiot all over again, and hadn’t she told her nana she’d not give Sam a second chance?

‘This is going to be such a long night, do you fancy a game of cards?’ he said, moving on from his questions about Martha.

‘No,’ she said quickly. ‘I need to use the loo and then I’m going to sleep.’

She ducked down under his arm and pulled open the door of the toilet.

‘Martha is an amazing teammate, by the way,’ she said as she was about to close the door on him. ‘I’m sorry you’ve been stuck with such a drag.’

Erin thought back on her choice of the word ‘drag’ over the next thirty hours because that is what time seemed to do. She didn’t sleep very well but Martha appeared not to mind the rattling and squeaking of the train and had caught up on a few hours.

Erin did end up playing cards but not with Sam. Tara had a pack and they spent most of the following day in the skyline car, playing gin rummy and watching the countryside change around them. The beautiful sunrise over tree-lined lakes gave way to the Arctic tundra of Northern Manitoba as they travelled north. Erin had kept the leaflet she’d found in the waiting room of the station. It was a tourist guide to the area and what to expect on arrival in Churchill. It had a map of the town, too.

‘It says here that the residents leave their cars and homes unlocked so that if there’s a polar bear about, they can find easy escape,’ Erin said.

‘The bears or the people?’ Tara said with a chuckle. ‘What do you think is waiting for us at the other end?’

‘Not much, I would imagine. I think it will simply be us all getting off and running to the nearest landmark or hotel or something. I doubt we’ll be going far.’

‘That’s what I was worrying about. I can’t run that fast,’ Tara admitted and Erin stored that titbit of info to tell Martha. ‘And I also overheard someone talking about the possibility of snow, so I won’t be running in that.’

‘Is it likely, this far into May?’ Erin said.

‘Apparently it’s unusual, but not unheard of,’ Tara said.

Erin hadn’t considered the fact there might be snow the further north they went but she had grown used to seeing it on top of distant mountains. She made a note to get all their winter gear out before they arrived.

Tara told Erin that she didn’t have children and never had wanted them. She was a very happy woman living alone and working for a charity.

‘I’m an only child and my mum has found it hard to accept she’ll never have any grandchildren,’ she said, laying down her hand of cards for the win.

Erin groaned and then looked over her shoulder to see where Noah was.

‘Don’t worry, they have me saying this on camera already,’ Tara said. ‘It’s my mum who finds it hard to talk about. Being a parent doesn’t mean you have an automatic right to have grandchildren. That’s just the way it is. What have they got on you and your grandmother? They’ll drag out a good story for the camera.’

‘My mum died fourteen months ago,’ Erin said and watched the smile fall from Tara’s face.

‘Oh God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so glib about my situation.’

‘You didn’t,’ Erin said. ‘You were honest. Your experiences and mine are our own. My mum never got to be a grandmother but that doesn’t mean you should rush out and have children if you still can. Life doesn’t work like that. Martha’s already been talking about it on camera. She likes to remember her daughter every chance she gets and I understand that. But I don’t always want to remember. Not her, but how she was at the end. To see such a vibrant person diminished to nothing is terrifying. I find it hard to separate the two. Anyway, another round?’

‘Oh, Erin,’ Tara said gently.

Erin started dealing the cards onto the table and then something caught her attention, and she glanced up into the eyes of Sam who had wandered into the sky car. He stood looking at Erin for a moment and then he turned and walked away.

They were due to arrive in Churchill at breakfast time the following morning and even though that was fifteen hours away, Erin was already not looking forward to another night on the train. She wandered down to check out the unoccupied cabins and although they looked cramped, they were far more appealing than a slightly reclining seat in economy. Their budget just didn’t stretch to that.

In the end, she did sleep with her head in Martha’s lap, her grandmother stroking her hair. Erin tried really hard to take comfort from the gentle action but really it somehow made her feel utterly abandoned.

19

MARTHA

Tara’s info about the snow had been spot on. Erin had suggested we dig out all of our warmer wear, so we were fully prepared when we stepped down from the train in Churchill. We were greeted by a thick layer of white that covered the entirety of the landscape.