Page 58 of The Trip of a Lifetime

He laughed and then shook his head at me, gulped down his juice and went to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand until he thought better of it and used a napkin.

‘I think about it all the time,’ he said, his expression suddenly serious.

‘You’re a man. You think about sex all the time, I expect, even at your age. What is it? Every twenty seconds on average.’

‘It’s about every eight seconds, I think. But that’s not the point. It’s you I think about, Martha,’ he said. ‘The what if. You weren’t the only one left broken-hearted, you know.’

‘I never said I was br⁠—’

‘The look you gave me across the room in the hotel that first night in Vancouver was venomous. No one could hold onto a fifty-year-old resentment without first having had their heart broken.’

‘I’ve had my heart broken over things far more important than one night of passion with you and being left feeling like a fool,’ I told him and watched his expression change.

‘Your daughter,’ he said quietly. ‘I understand. There is nothing more important than that.’

I leaned heavily against the window frame and tried to quieten my emotions. I didn’t like to talk about Clare when I was angry or agitated because it just made me so much more emotional about it. I liked to talk about her on my terms and only when I could control myself. Harrison was up out of his chair and before I knew it, he’d taken my hand and led me to sit on the sofa. He perched on the arm but didn’t let go of me.

‘Don’t say anything you don’t want to,’ he said. ‘I’m not fishing for information. I only know you lost her because Sam overheard Erin talking about her mum.’

‘Did she? That’s great. She doesn’t talk about her much. Really it’s hardly at all. I honestly don’t think she even acknowledges that her mother died, not really. She says the words but does she know they’re true? It will hit her one day and I’m so afraid the fallout will be huge. I just want to protect her. And I think she gets fed up with me and my upbeat, Clare-fuelled chat sometimes. I get fed up with me sometimes too. It’s exhausting, Harrison. But how can I complain about being tired when Clare is gone?’

He slid onto the sofa next to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

‘I can’t even imagine,’ he said softly.

With a long breath out, I allowed my head to rest on his shoulder, nestled into the warmth of him, the side of his face resting gently on my head.

We stayed like that for a while. It wasn’t awkward or suggestive; it was pure comfort. He still had hold of my hand and he stroked his thumb across my skin as if he were rediscovering something and just as he had that first night all those years ago.

It was the beeping of our trackers that brought us out of the little world we’d cocooned ourselves in. We both jumped and then got up to read the message.

Erin and Sam have made contact. They are together, safe, well and a couple of hours from arriving in Winnipeg. You can relax! Cally.

‘Thank God!’ I said and Harrison pulled me to him in a joint hug of relief.

‘I don’t think I realised how worried I was until I read that they were safe,’ he said.

I pulled back to look at him and he was grinning.

‘So, this race is back on then,’ I said. ‘We can get into competition mode once again.’

‘Is it now that you think you’re going to beat me?’ he said and his look was suddenly intense.

‘Of course,’ I said. ‘That was always the intention from the start.’

‘In that case, will you allow me one moment before things change between us again?’

I didn’t see how they could change now. I’d made my peace with what had happened back then. I saw Harrison differently. And I knew what he was going to do but only a second before he did it.

His mouth was on mine and I didn’t pull back. I leaned into him and a fire lit up inside me as I moved my hand to the back of his head and into his hair. And then almost as soon as it started it ended as we both pulled away.

‘Wow,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t going to do that.’

‘Yeah, I wasn’t going to let you.’

We both stared at each other for a moment and then began to laugh.

‘There’s no fool like an old fool,’ I said.