Page 65 of The Trip of a Lifetime

The first time I came face to face with Harrison was at dinner. The production company had set us up with an intimate meal so we could all talk about our progress, and then they encouraged us to share what we might do with the money if we won it.

I was dwelling a bit on what Erin had said at the waterfalls. Something about hoping she was worthy. Worthy of what? She hadn’t elaborated and I hadn’t asked her exactly what she had meant. Cally had put us on the spot and Erin delivered what sounded like the sort of thing you might say in that situation. Cally could edit it to suit. It wasn’t always easy acting into the camera on command. I sort of knew what they wanted from us but I wasn’t always prepared to deliver that.

Dinner had been a selection of fish and meat dishes with vegetables and potatoes and we had all taken the opportunity to fill up. Erin suggested loading her bag, but that was a step too far and I hoped she was joking. The remnants were cleared away by staff and dessert was served. A choice of blueberry pie or a meringue-topped dessert filled with vanilla custard. Everyone was drinking beer and wine, which was probably why our tongues were loosened.

Harrison and Sam were sitting opposite me and Erin, and I kept catching the older man’s eye, and sharing so many unsaid words in our glances. Our looks were clear; if we could be, we would be in bed together.

‘I think for us,’ Femi started, ‘it’s that our daughter and grandchildren live in Australia and we just don’t see them that often because the cost of the airfare is so big.’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Liz. ‘If we won that money, we could afford to go a little more often. It really would make a massive difference to us.’

There was a mummering around the table of sympathy for yet another parent having lost their child to another continent.

‘We shouldn’t let our kids go backpacking,’ Priya said. ‘They almost never come back. My sister’s son was planning to go to Thailand for six months but he got a job offer at home that he didn’t want to turn down and we were all so grateful.’

I did have sympathy for Femi and Liz, of course I did, but I also thought they could be more grateful for the fact that it would only take a trip on a plane to see their daughter. I did not have that possibility.

Harrison’s eyes locked on mine and his look was full of compassion but then he looked away as Noah was hovering close and Gaz was doing the same. That camera would pick up on everything.

I realised, as Priya started talking about her mother being in an inadequate care home and how much she wanted to move her, that I hadn’t really thought about the money before. What would I do with fifty thousand pounds? Well, twenty-five really. Of course, Erin would have her share. ‘Home improvements,’ I told the others when it was my turn. It sounded rather lacking.

‘I’m living in a rented flatshare, so I’d put it as a deposit on a property,’ Erin said, and everyone told her how sensible that was.

I vowed there and then that if we did win, Erin could have the lot. I loved my flat in Shoreditch. It didn’t need improving at all. Erin’s mother hadn’t owned her own home, she had always rented, so there was no property for Erin to inherit. Clare had spent what she had earned and there weren’t huge savings either. A few quid and personal effects were all she passed on to her daughter. Erin had insisted it didn’t matter, that she hadn’t ever been expecting anything.

‘I’d like to use it to move too,’ Harrison said. ‘I’m currently living in the West Country and as much as I love it, I was only really there because of a relationship. That broke down a long while ago and I want to get back to London. I miss the bustle of the capital.’

I stared at him. Did he know where I lived?

‘I’m with you, Erin,’ Sam said and then stopped, suddenly embarrassed. ‘I mean I would do the same and use the money for a deposit on a place.’

‘In Marlow?’ Erin asked him.

‘Probably not,’ he said. ‘It’s too expensive. I quite fancy looking further south. Maybe around Chichester. I’ve got some friends there. It depends on… well, it’s something to think about.’

‘I’ve never been to Chichester,’ Erin said and Sam smiled at her.

‘You’d love it,’ he said.

‘I’m sure I would.’

‘You should visit.’

‘I think I will.’

We all watched this back and forth like we were at a tennis match. Every head at the table turning left and right and all with knowing smiles on their faces. I knew something had happened between them but how did I feel about it? I just wasn’t sure.

After the desserts were cleared away and we’d had coffee, everyone began to go their separate ways. Erin skipped ahead, saying she needed the loo, and Harrison caught hold of my hand in reception. He pulled me towards the lift and pressed the button to go up.

‘Where’s Sam?’ I asked him.

‘Said he needed the loo but I would imagine he’s most likely talking to Erin about a trip to Chichester.’

He dropped my hand as the door opened but the lift was empty so he took it again and then we were inside, just the two of us. He didn’t waste time as there were only three floors and he kissed me. I slid my arms around his waist and felt my knees go a little weak. It was quite pathetic really, and I decided it was definitely all the running I’d been doing and nothing to do with the passionate kiss at all. I pulled away as we got to my floor.

‘What are we doing?’ I whispered.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Do you want to stop?’