Page 37 of Unrequited Sloth

“Is that why you don’t have a boyfriend?” asked Bobby, looking back at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, and I might be out of touch here, but wouldn’t men who were into . . . what you described also be into the more extreme things as well, so that’s why you haven’t found someone? I mean, I am surprised you’re single, so I was wondering if that was it.”

This guy was so adorably sweet, but this wasn’t a conversation he could have with Bobby. Gabriel had already said too much, but he needed to close this conversation down.

“A boyfriend hasn’t been a priority for me the past couple of years. Maybe this will be my year.”

Bobby nodded. “Well, as long as I think they’re good enough. You deserve the best, Gabriel.”

Well, fuck. What was he supposed to say to that?

It was time for Gabriel to face his family at Sunday lunch, and he was prepared for whatever his sister threw at him. Thankfully, he didn’t have a hangover. He’d spoken to Bobby, who’d said he was happy for Gabriel to share what Alex had done with Dillon. He didn’t want to throw his sister under the bus, but if she accused him of having an affair with Bobby, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell their parents exactly what she’d done. Alex had form for this, so Gabriel knew who they were going to believe.

He walked in, as was the norm. The front door was locked only when they were both out. The smell of his mother’s Sunday roast made his mouth water. She’d taught him to cook. Well, she’d tried to teach them both, but Alex hadn’t been interested. After he’d come out when he was sixteen, she’d taught him more, saying you’d always win an argument with a man if you were in charge of the kitchen. Gabriel shed his layers. It was freezing outside. February was always the coldest month in the UK. It would occasionally snow, but it was mostly cold, wet, and windy. One of those on their own was mildly irritating, two at once was miserable, and all three were horrific, which is what they’d been experiencing the last couple of days.

Gabriel had expected to walk into the lounge and see his dad reading the newspaper and his mum in the kitchen. Instead, they were both sitting at the dining table, as if they were waiting for him. He smiled at them, but it wasn’t returned, which made his stomach flip. What had happened? Looking around, he couldn’t see any sign of Alex, which might be a good thing.

“Sit down, Gabriel,” said his dad.

He usually referred to Gabriel as “son,” and rarely used his name, so this was serious, whatever it was. His mum looked as if she were close to tears. Gabriel wanted to ask questions, but his gut was telling him to shut up and listen. His dad slid a piece of paper over to him.

“We’d like you to explain this,” he said.

Gabriel opened it, and he thought his heart had stopped. It was his “wedding” certificate with Bobby. Except this looked different to what they’d been given in Las Vegas. This had stamps and watermarks on it, and looked legit, but that couldn’t be the case, could it? Bobby had said it wasn’t legally binding. So how did his parents have a copy of it?

“How did you get this?” he asked.

“Answer the question, Gabriel,” said his dad. “We need an explanation of how you could do something so cruel to your sister.”

“Cruel? Me? She’s the one who cheated on Bobby.”

“How dare you accuse your sister of doing something like that, just to cover your own skin. She’s heartbroken about this. And do you know how much money their wedding cost, which now can’t go ahead because you’re already married to the groom?”

“Are you going to let me give my version of things before you immediately take Alex’s side, like you always do, Dad?”

“This is very hard to explain, Gabriel,” said his mum, tears rolling down her face.

“Bobby discovered Alex had been having an affair with his best friend, Dillon, since Halloween . . . Let me finish,” he added when his dad went to interrupt. “Bobby was obviously upset, especially as all his friends knew about it as well. We went out for drinks, as he needed to get drunk. The wedding thing was just a drunken joke. It’s not even legally binding.”

“I’ve checked, Gabriel,” said his dad. “This is legitimate. You are legally married to Bobby Kavanagh.”

“What the fuck?” he said, looking at the certificate again.

“Language, Gabriel,” said his mum.

He apologised and looked at the certificate closely. It looked like an official document, but how was that possible? They’d been blackout drunk, so there had to be some law against legally marrying people who didn’t even remember doing it. That wasn’t something he’d be sharing with his parents.

“If this is legit, then we’ll just get an annulment. There’s nothing going on between me and Bobby.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” said his mum.

The look on her face was like a blow to his heart. She’d always been his biggest cheerleader, and now she believed he’d do something like this.

“Bobby is straight, and even if he wasn’t, do you really think I would do something like this to my sister? She’s the one who has form for this. Why do you believe everything she says?”

“Answer this question, then,” said his dad. “Where is Bobby now?”