Page 14 of Volik

Drop them back to my sides.

I feel like I’ve been drugged.

Or what I assume it would feel like to be drugged.

I’ve been high before, but it just made me sleepy. This…

I run my tongue along my molars.

This isn’t that.

And, obviously, no one drugged me.

Other than waving to a few adults I assume are professors, I didn’t talk to anyone today besides Jenny.

Maybe Jenny drugged me.

Maybe that paper was laced with… PCP or… I don’t know. I’m not a chemist. But maybe the paper was saturated with some mind-altering drug, and when it sliced my finger, it infected me.

Maybe the footsteps never happened.

Maybe I hallucinated the whole thing.

Maybe I didn’t soak through my panties thinking about a vampire.

Maybe nothing is real.

Grimacing, I turn and move through my living room-dining room-kitchen combo and head down the short hallway to the other end of my apartment.

I pass the small closet and bathroom, then turn into my bedroom.

Kicking my jeans off, I toss them onto the foot of the bed. Then I peel off my underwear.

Earlier, when I couldn’t ignore the dampness anymore, I used one of the public restrooms to clean up.

No one else was in the restroom, but my cheeks still burned with embarrassment the whole time I was in there.

I hadn’t come. But my body was acting as though we were seconds away from getting railed for the first time.

I toss my underwear into the laundry basket.

I’ve been turned on before, touched myself before. But even then, even in my most aroused state, I’ve never been such a mess.

Drugged.

It has to be drugs.

I press two fingers to the pulse point on my throat.

Then I drop my hand because I’m not a freaking nurse, and I don’t know how to count my pulse.

I toss the rest of my clothes onto the bed with my jeans, then turn to my dresser.

With no plans to leave the apartment until tomorrow, I grab clean undies, sweatpants, and an old, incredibly comfortable T-shirt, and bring them into the bathroom.

Avoiding my own reflection, I clean up. Again.

I’ve wanted to have sex.