Page 31 of Matilda’s Summer of New Beginnings

‘You could always come down here,’ Jay said, a little tentatively. ‘I know Rosie’s away at the weekend, and you might be bored on your own.’

‘Perhaps,’ I replied, although I couldn’t stop multiple visions of Polly floating through my mind. ‘But I couldn’t really bring the pictures,’ I fudged. ‘So you would still end up seeing photos.’ And I’m not sure where I’d stay, and I don’t really want to third wheel with you and Polly.

‘I guess.’ There was another silence. ‘Okay. And — are you sure about that? About not coming down?’

I closed my eyes. ‘No,’ I whispered.

‘It would be good to see you.’ Silence. Then a quick: ‘I mean, as a friend. You know? Cerys will be having the baby soon, and Sam’s sort of preoccupied with that, and it’s just . . . yeah. It would be nice. Give me someone else to chat to. It would be nice to do that walk again.’ Jay took a deep breath. ‘But it’s up to you . . .’ His voice trailed off.

‘Yeah, yeah. I understand.’ I paused and picked a bit of paint off my nail. ‘The pictures do look really good though.’

‘I suspect they do.’

‘I’d not know where to stay, though.’

‘There is Cerys’ flat. But you might not feel comfortable there on your own. And there’s the pub. I’m sure we’ve got some vacancies this weekend.’

‘I’m not sure I’d get time off work.’

I knew I was just making excuses. I wasn’t scheduled to work at all for the next couple of weekends anyway.

‘Well. Like I say, it’s up to you. Right — I’d best go.’ He suddenly perked up and I heard a smile develop in his voice again. ‘I need to be ready for Polly in ten minutes. Catch you soon, Matilda.’

‘Bye, Jay.’

He hung up and I listened to the dial tone for a moment, before replacing the receiver.

I would not go to Padcock that weekend.

I would not.

Chapter Eleven

June

I did not go to Padcock that weekend.

I went to Padcock the next weekend.

Okay, maybe you saw that one coming, but I honestly didn’t. It was an extremely last-minute thing, and I am sticking to that.

When I arrived in Padcock, it was, seriously, like that Rachel-and-Ross moment from Friends, when she appears in the doorway and says, ‘I got off the plane!’

I’d texted Jay on the way down.

I got on the train!

Congratulations?! he replied.

I’m coming to Padcock, I clarified. I have to leave London. It’s vile. Vileness of its most vile degree.

Then my phone rang. ‘Tilds? Care to explain yourself?’

‘It’s Damien,’ I said, still reeling from the shock. ‘He’s in Darling! magazine. And — and there’s other stuff as well. But I literally cannot talk about it now. You need to read it Jay. I can’t tell you anything, but you absolutely need to read it. Please.’

Let me rewind. I’m still struggling to process this, so I’ll give you the potted version.

I’d been at work that very fateful Friday. When I reached for my phone at breaktime, I saw that I had seven missed calls from Rosie and a text.