Page 61 of Matilda’s Summer of New Beginnings

I was happy that Polly was pleased with her outfit. I was glad I’d brought my travel sewing machine with me in the end, because nerves had struck and Polly had freaked out a bit yesterday about the deep “V” at the neckline of her top, worrying that she would have a wardrobe malfunction on the stage. I’d managed to sort it out for her so there’d be no danger of that.

I was happy that the sun was shining through the window and the day promised to be beautifully warm and sunny.

I was happy that Rosie and Damien would be there today — I said I’d meet them at the Fayre — and I was also happy that I’d be able to bear witness to the cake stall.

I was very happy that I’d rang Edie from home a few weeks ago when I’d made my big decision to do something nice for someone. We’d had a good chat about what we could do. Edie had said I needed to have faith in her, so that’s what I did.

And finally I was happy that I’d see Jay. Have I already mentioned that? Yes? Well, there you go. I was extremely and utterly happy.

I didn’t think anything could make me unhappy, until I trotted along to Padcock Court and saw Jay hanging around the entrance looking miserable.

My heart skipped a beat as I walked up to him. ‘Hello Jay,’ I said, attempting a smile. ‘Everything okay?’

He shook his head and pointed to his throat, which was all wrapped up in a bright blue scarf. I tried to ignore the fact that the scarf almost matched his eyes exactly. By a series of mad gestures and barely croaked comments on Jay’s part, I managed to deduce that he had lost his voice.

‘Oh shit.’ I stared at him. ‘That’s unfortunate.’

He nodded gloomily.

I didn’t mention the fact that it was unfortunate for me, because now I wouldn’t be able to hear that amazing voice and fan-girl like I wanted to. I instead focussed on him: ‘That’s unfortunate because you’ll miss your turn on the stage.’

‘Yeah,’ he croaked, then pulled a face and rubbed his neck.

‘God.’ I stared at him again, feeling unreasonably deflated. ‘Do you — do you want a hot drink? Cold drink? Any sort of drink?’

‘Hot,’ he rasped. Then said something else far too quiet for me to catch. I couldn’t help but lean in, my ear close to his mouth, his warm breath sending tingles all down my neck and spine as he breathed on my cheek and touched my arm gently. ‘Over by the cake stall,’ I think he said, so I nodded and drew away.

‘Yes. Over by the cake stall. Ummmm — come on then.’ I pulled a face. A one-way conversation wasn’t how I’d planned this day out. Jay looked pained, and opened his mouth as if to say something, then gave up. However, he started to walk beside me. Then, surprisingly, he took my hand and squeezed it. And he didn’t let go as we continued.

My heart was pounding even more now as I walked next to him, staring straight ahead, absolutely loving the feel of his hand in mine, but worrying whether he was holding my hand as a sort of apology, from a misplaced sense of guilt that we couldn’t have a conversation, rather than out of affection or even closeness.

We ended up by the hot drinks stall where we found ourselves face to face with Sally. She was the lucky person currently presiding over the tea urn, and her face lit up as she saw us.

‘Good morning Jay,’ she said. ‘And hello Matilda. What can I get you?’ I didn’t miss the quick glance she gave to our linked hands and the little knowing smile that followed.

I looked helplessly at Jay. ‘Two coffees please. Yes?’

He nodded, smiling apologetically at Sally and pointing to his neck. He must have been roasting in his scarf. It was already warm and his ears were turning a bit pink, as were his cheeks.

‘He’s lost his voice,’ I explained.

‘Oh no!’ Sally exclaimed, the smile sliding off her face, and her voice sounding genuinely gutted. ‘Your song! You’re reigning champion! What are we to do?’

Jay shrugged and shook his head. “Nothing” was the answer we all unfortunately knew.

‘They’ll have to change the running order.’ Sally made us the coffees, whilst shaking her head in despair, and pushed two cardboard cups over to us. ‘Oh Jay, you must be so disappointed.’

Jay nodded regretfully and shrugged again.

Not as disappointed as me, I wanted to say. But that felt rather selfish, so I took a big gulp of scalding hot instant coffee instead and said nothing.

Jay paid for the coffees, waving away the change, and then tugged my hand and pointed to the cake stall. He raised his eyebrows and I nodded. He looked even more pained, and I understood he was heading there to make us both feel better. Everything does feel better with cake in your tummy, so who was I to complain. We approached the stall as one, each of us clutching a cuppa, and still, I realized, holding hands.

Cerys and Edie were there with the children. Bean was waddling around the cake stand, some loose reins trailing behind him. Edie kept lunging forward to stand on them to stop him going too far, and I could tell she was practiced in the art. It was almost like a training leash for a dog. Elin was in her pram asleep under the shade, but there was a small tent erected behind the stall, and I assumed that once she woke up she’d be laid down on the cosy-looking rug inside, which was already scattered with soft toys.

‘Good morning!’ Edie grinned at us. ‘Loving the scarf Jay.’

‘Lost my voice,’ he whispered. ‘Tragic.’