Page 72 of The Snow Witch

‘It was.’ Violet nodded again. Then she took a deep breath. ‘Thing is, the Pill doesn’t work too well if it doesn’t stay in your system.’

‘Yeah…’ Jake looked confused.

‘And – it didn’t – work.’ She forced herself to look him in the eye. ‘I’m pregnant, Jake. It was the night in Dunnet Head when we went to see the Northern Lights.’

There was a beat where they stared at one another for a long, long moment of silence. She could practically see the cogs whirring in his mind as he processed the information.

She thought she had better speak. ‘I’m sorry.’

Jake seemed to come back to life and he blinked. ‘Sorry?’ Jake stared at her. ‘What the hell for?’

‘Because, well, I’m having a baby.’

‘Fucking hell, Violet. It takes two, you know.’

‘I guess. But wasn’t it my responsibility to do something about it?’

‘What? God, no! I was there as well. I knew you’d been ill. I did nothing to stop it either. Violet.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and looked in her eyes. ‘This is really not the worst thing in the world. Why the hell are you looking like it is?’

‘Because you don’t want kids.’ She choked out the words. They sounded pathetic in the snowy landscape, half-whipped away by the wind.

‘What made you think that?’ He was genuinely surprised.

‘You never said you did – we never talked about it.’

‘We never talked about a lot of things. It doesn’t mean I don’t want those things. Jeez, Violet. Is that why you came here? Is that why you’ve been so quiet recently? You’ve had that on your mind since Christmas? And you didn’t think you could tell me?’

‘But your divorce – you said there was no children, there’d never be any children?’

‘Exactly. Because she didn’t want children. I did. She told me to get a vasectomy because she didn’t want to have them. I told her no, and if she was so determined, why didn’t she get her tubes tied instead of making me do something about it. So she divorced me instead.’

‘Oh. Right. That’s – good then.’ Violet lowered her gaze and focused on Jake’s boot. The legs of his jeans were soggy and had clumps of snow sticking to them. She could only imagine the sensory nightmare of cold, heavy denim wrapped around your leg. At least she had boots on, and her waterproof trousers were tucked in.

‘It is,’ he said softly.

‘I just didn’t know what to say or do. I thought by coming here, it might help.’

‘Why would it help coming here?’

‘I’d be away from everything. I could think. Make some decisions. And it sounds stupid, but Coventina – she’s the goddess of childbirth and healing, so…’ Violet felt her face flush and it was an odd sensation when the rest of her was so cold. She shivered again, looking back at the Well. ‘I just thought it would help – get my head straight.’

‘And is it straight?’ Jake’s tone was careful. ‘Because I’ll support you whatever you want to do.’

Violet looked at him, saw the strength it had taken him not to tell her what to do, or tell her what he wanted her to do, and she felt a rush of love for him. Why had she thought she had to get away? Jake was her life and she was his. They were fated to be together – it was fairly obvious now.

She nodded. ‘I’m keeping it. And of course I want you involved⁠—’

She didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because his arms came around her and he pulled her closer and his lips were on hers.

When he drew away, he spoke. ‘Of course I want to be involved. I mean – do you want to get married, or…?’

Violet found his worried expression endearing and she laughed. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her level again, almost hanging on to him as she went light-headed and weak-kneed with relief. He was okay about it. He was happy about it!

‘One thing at a time,’ she said. ‘We’ve got a few months to get our heads around it.’

‘Yes. I agree. But I’m just putting it out there, into the Universe or whatever they do here, that I do want kids, and I’m bloody pleased to be having one with you, Violet. One of the reasons I came up here was because I hated being on my own in the house. I want you to move in – I mean, only if you want to do it…’

‘I do. Oh yes of course I do. I’m honestly pleased to be having a baby with you too, Jake.’ She bit back a sob. Was this how Meggie had felt when she told Emory she was pregnant? Again, the scale and the unfairness of the tragedy that had befallen Meggie overcame Violet.