Page 33 of A Texas Hero

“I doubt she would be the problem. It’s me.”

“I see. So, you’re still stuck in the same pattern of thinking that ended your prior relationship.”

“That was a different situation.”

With Jenna, everything changed when he returned stateside. She wanted to immediately pick up where they’d left off, but Archer’s feelings had changed. In many ways. He needed more out of a relationship than someone who was entirely focused on the physical. That wasn’t an indictment of her; she had been kind and accepting in every way. She’d wanted to take care of him. But Archer couldn’t accept the fact that their roles had changed. He always took care of people, not the other way around. And when their former intimacy didn’t immediately resume as she would have liked, she was upset. He actually wasn’t sure who’d pulled away first, but he’d been the one to tell her they were over.

“Do you think you’ve accepted your new body?”

How did a person simply accept missing a piece of his anatomy? It was easier said than done. Unless he was in pain, Archer kept his prosthesis on even when he was alone. He only removed it at appointments, and to sleep, because that was recommended. Even he didn’t like looking at his stump. It reminded him of…everything.

He’d read about people who dated amputees, but the most disturbing thing he’d learned was that a condition existed called acrotomophilia, where some people were sexually aroused by amputations. This brought about a power imbalance in which the amputee could be exploited. Sally had told him about it in one of their sessions, because she’d been worried after seeing some of the mail Archer received when his photo was posted on the organization’s Instagram account. He’d received a dozen marriage proposals from strangers after that.

You’d never have to work another day in your life.

Here’s some money.

I’d take good care of you.

Humiliating stuff that pissed him off.

But on the other side of that uncomfortable obsession, there were women who Archer suspected might be completely turned off by a man missing his ankle and foot. Sally assured him that wouldn’t be the case for most women, but he begged to differ.

She had encouraged him to go on a few dates, even if he wasn’t particularly interested in the woman. It would be “good practice,” she said. But Archer had not been on a single date since he’d moved to Houston, even if there had been opportunity. And now he saw Sally’s point. Faced with someone who really mattered, he didn’t know how he could tell the truth. All he wanted was for someone to appreciate him for who he was, and not what he’d lost.

Zoey was such a soft touch. If he told her what happened, and she started to cry, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He could not stand her pity. It would be for the best if she never had a reason to find out.

“I don’t know,” Archer said. “This woman…well, she’s extremely compassionate. She’s worried she’ll hurt someone’s feelings with the smallest of things.”

“And you think she won’t admit how she truly feels about the prosthesis because she would be too worried about hurting your feelings?”

“Well…yes. But it’s a moot point. I can’t see her, anyway. There’s a conflict of interest.”

“All right, then we’re back to what I talked about before,” Sally said. “You might not be able to be physically intimate with her, but what about friendship? If you trust her, and you’re spending time together, share the truth with her. It will make it that much easier to do it with someone else in the future.”

Practice…on Zoey? The idea held zero appeal. He didn’t want to practice on Zoey, like she was some kind of placeholder. She deserved more. Even if he couldn’t give it to her.

“If not her, then how about someone else as practice?”

It wasn’t as if Archer hadn’t been flirted with since he’d arrived in Texas. He simply hadn’t had the desire to date anyone, but now he was motivated. Besides, a date didn’t mean anything. It was just a chance to get to know each other.

“Take a direct, confident approach,” Sally said. “For example, ‘By the way, I have a prosthetic foot, but it’s not a big deal. Just thought I’d mention it.’”

Seriously?

It felt like it should be more of a natural progression.

“Or, you could wait until intimacy is near,” Sally said. “With the right person, someone you’ve connected with on every other level, they’ll be accepting. After all, you forget that everyone has issues. No one is perfect.”

She had a point. He didn’t know everything about Zoey. She couldn’t be perfect, could she?

Chapter Thirteen

On the good news front, Zoey had dropped a clue the size of Texas that she was attracted to Archer. Rules be damned! She wasn’t much of a rule follower, anyway, never had been. On the bad news front, she wasn’t sure he didn’t think this was all a ruse, as he’d initially suggested pretending that he was her boyfriend. Not only had Archer ignored her comment about her crush being Italian—or pretended she couldn’t mean him—Scott had texted back:

So, who is this guy?

She hadn’t texted him back, considering the possibility that Archer—and her father, and well…pretty much everyone—could be right, and she might be a little too nice.