Page 37 of Frosted Fakes

Elliott had tried to decline Shay’s invitation to the pub. "If you don't come," Shay had replied, "I'm coming there. And I'll bring my opinions about your situation with the cute blonde. All of them. Loudly."

Which was how Elliott found herself in a corner booth at The Green Man, nursing a gin and tonic whilst Shay vibrated with barely contained glee.

"Right," Shay said, leaning forward with the intensity of a detective about to crack a case. "Tell me everything."

"There's nothing to tell."

"You're living with a woman."

"Technically, she's living with me. It's my flat. Sort of. Possession is nine tenths of the law and all that."

"You know what I mean." Shay waved this away. "You're cohabiting. Sharing space. Living in domestic proximity."

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

"Don't deflect." Shay pointed an accusatory finger. "Every time I've talked to you this week, you've mentioned her. Julia did this. Julia said that. Julia set off the fire alarm again. Julia watches medical programs at two in the morning. You're obsessed."

Elliott's hand tightened on her glass. "I'm not obsessed. I'm reporting facts. She lives in my space. She's unavoidable."

"You could move out."

"I was there first."

"That's not an answer. You've got money from Milly now. You could find somewhere else." Shay's eyes narrowed. "Unless you don't want to leave."

Elliott took a long sip of her drink. "We've made an arrangement."

"An arrangement." Shay's expression went gleeful. "Oh, this is good. What kind of arrangement?"

"A practical one." Elliott set down her glass and explained.

Shay blinked. "You're fake dating?"

"We're business partners who are pretending to be in a relationship to avoid awkward questions. There's a difference."

"Not much of one." Shay was grinning now, wide and delighted. "El, this is brilliant. This is fate. This is the universe physically shoving you two together."

"This is convenience. Don't read into it."

"I'm reading everything into it." Shay leaned back, looking far too pleased. "Fake dating is literally how people fall in love. It's a trope. A very popular trope."

"This is real life, not a romance novel."

"Real life is just romance novels with worse editing." Shay tilted her head. "So. Do you think she’s pretty?"

Elliott's face went warm. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Everything. You're blushing."

"I don't blush."

"You're doing it right now. Your ears have gone pink." Shay looked triumphant. "You fancy her."

"I absolutely do not."

"Then why are your ears pink?"

"Because this pub is overheated and you're being ridiculous." Elliott crossed her arms. "Julia is fine. She's nice enough. But she's also helpless in the kitchen, far too accommodating, and she lets people walk all over her. Including her nightmare of a mother."