Page 97 of Frosted Fakes

She hung up before Gabby could respond and sat there in the silence, phone clutched in her hand, heart pounding like she'd just run a marathon.

That had been her chance. Her moment to finally be completely honest. And she'd choked.

Julia pulled herself off the couch. She had a bakery to run, after all. Even though she was currently having to pay through the nose to get croissants and bread brought in. Goods that were nowhere near as good as Elliott’s. Throwing money at problems again.

And when she finally got downstairs, she stood in the kitchen doorway and let herself remember. Just for a moment.

Elliott, covered in flour, swearing at sourdough. Elliott's hands guiding hers on a piping bag, her voice low and patient. Elliott's lips on hers, right there by the industrial mixer, tasting of air and wanting.

She'd lost Elliott. That was bad enough. But she realized she'd lost something else too. With Elliott beside her, she'd felt brave. Strong. Like maybe she could be the person she'd always wanted to be instead of the person everyone expected her to be. Elliott had made her want to stand up, speak out, stop apologizing for existing.

And Julia had just proved that without Elliott, she was exactly who she'd always been. A coward who couldn't even tell her mother the truth about what she wanted.

She reached for her phone and pulled up her saved videos. Medical procedures. Emergency response. Trauma assessment. Her secret library of the life she actually desired.

She clicked on one, a nursing tutorial about wound care, and waited for the familiar comfort to wash over her. The calm, competent voice explaining each step. The satisfaction of watching someone do something that actually mattered.

But this time, the comfort didn't come.

Instead, she felt something sharp and uncomfortable lodging in her chest. She was twenty-nine years old. She'd been watching these videos for years, dreaming about a different life while doing absolutely nothing to make it happen. Content to let her mother dictate her future. Content to pretend. Content to watch other people actually live.

She closed the app.

The videos didn't make her feel better. They made her feel worse. Because watching wasn't the same as doing, and dreaming wasn't the same as living, and she was so bloody tired of standing on the sidelines of her own existence.

A knock at the back door made her jump.

Tom stood on the step, looking uncertain. He was wearing a flannel shirt over a band t-shirt, his short hair still slightly messy from sleep. "I saw the light on. I know I’m not due in for another couple of hours. I just wanted to check if you were okay."

Julia managed something that was probably a smile. "I'm fine."

"Right." Tom stepped inside, hands shoved in his pockets. "Because you definitely look fine. Hanging out alone in the kitchen, looking like you might pass out. Very normal, very fine behavior."

Despite everything, Julia felt her mouth twitch. "When did you get so sarcastic?"

"I learned from the best." He hesitated, then sat down across from her. "Elliott."

Julia looked at him, really looked at him. He seemed different. More settled in his own skin. More confident. "Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the bravest person I know."

Tom blinked. "What?"

"I mean it." Julia swallowed. "Just so you know. You figured out who you really are, and you just… became that person. Even when it was scary. Even when people might not understand. I don't know how you do it."

Tom was quiet for a moment. "I don't know either," he admitted. "I just… got tired, I suppose. Of pretending. Of trying to be what everyone else wanted." He shrugged. "It's not like I woke up one day and was suddenly brave. I was terrified. I still am, sometimes. But pretending to be someone I wasn't, that was worse. That was exhausting."

Julia felt tears prick at her eyes. "I don't know how to stop pretending," she whispered. "I've been doing it my whole life."

"If there's one thing I've learned," Tom said slowly, "it's that you can't live a life just to make other people happy. Not forever. Eventually, it'll break you. Or break the people you actually love."

He stood up and squeezed her shoulder on his way out. "For what it's worth, Julia? I think you're braver than you know. You just haven't figured it out yet."

✽✽✽

"You're moping."