Lizzie’s Hot Snake Dad
That would be great. When works for you? And I’ll definitely say yes to more ice cream please
Sexy Milo
Amazing! Does next week work? Maybe Tuesday? Looks like it’s going to be a busy weekend for us sadly. Also, what ice cream do you want? Or can I surprise you?
Lizzie’s Hot Snake Dad
Tuesday works
Lizzie’s Hot Snake Dad
And yes, surprise me =)
Chapter Six
Rupert
I rearranged the throw cushions on my sofa for the third time in ten minutes, catching myself before I attempted rearrangement number four and wondering if Milo would even notice that I’d moved them.
“This is ridiculous,” I said, my fingers stroking the back of Lizzie’s head to stop them from touching the cushions. She was draped around my neck in her second-favourite scarf configuration, watching my nonsensical cushion reorganisation with lazy fasciation.
She did like to explore the cushions sometimes, draping herself across the top of them or sliding in behind them with only the tip of her nose poking out. I’d nearly sat on her once when she’d done that, and she hadn’t been impressed. So now I remembered to check for python noses every time I sat down, even if she was in her terrarium or on my shoulders.
“Milo won’t even notice! And I… fuck, there are still things in the sink from this morning. How did I forget those?” I threw my hands into the air, stalked over to the kitchen and began washing things frantically. Thankfully I’d remembered to put my washing away last night, because the last thing I wanted was for Milo to see my underwear.
That was a line I was not ready for us to cross.
People always thought ADHD was just hyperactivity and a “squirrel brain,” and it was hard to explain it was so much more than that. It was the forgetfulness, the distraction, the time blindness, the rejection sensitivity, the trouble regulating my emotions coupled with anxiety, the choice paralysis, and the difficulty with relationships—of any kind—and the all or nothing attitude which had, at times, consumed my life.
Half the time it felt like I was barely functional, scraping through life with nothing but some faked confidence and a “don’t look behind the curtain” persona. Because if people only saw the carefully constructed view of who I was, then they might like me. And that was all I wanted.
If they saw who I really was—sharp, moody, distracted, and anxious—then there was no way they’d like me. Years of experience had already taught me that. It was better to put on a mask, carefully manipulate people’s perception and hide all my flaws. Then I’d be safe. Lonely, but safe.
It was a high price, but one I’d keep paying because it was better to be alone by choice than discarded in disgust when the real me came to light.
So, why I’d invited Milo around—again!—and why I kept messaging him was a mystery. It went against everything I’d tried to do to protect myself. But I couldn’t bring myself to examine my reasons too closely.
There was a chance I wouldn’t like what I saw, and I wasn’t ready to deal with that.
Luckily, I was saved from my own thoughts by the bell from downstairs.
Stacking the mug I’d been washing on the draining board, I quickly dried my hands and walked towards my front door, hastily grabbing my keys as I threw it open and rushed down the stairs. I still had Lizzie around my neck, and she’d tightened her grip with the turn of speed, but I knew Milo wouldn’t be unhappy to see her.
Not like the poor DPD driver I’d once nearly caused to pass out. Which I still felt awful about.
“Hey,” Milo said as soon as I opened the heavy downstairs door, a delighted smile on his face. “And you brought my new bestie too! Good evening, Miss Bennet!” He did a little half bow, tipping an invisible hat to her, and I laughed, ignoring the strange pang in my chest at the way he’d called Lizzie his new best friend.
I didn’t even want Milo as my best friend! Why was I upset he’d used that term about someone who wasn’t me? I should be thrilled that he loved Lizzie so much.
“She’s been helping me tidy,” I said, stepping backwards to usher him inside. “She gives very good opinions on cushions.”
Dammit! Why had I said that? Now Milo would definitely know I’d moved the cushions on the sofa around. Fuck, I was such an idiot.
But Milo just beamed, like nothing I’d said was remotely odd. “That’s because she’s the most beautiful and helpful girl on the planet.”
“I’m glad you agree.”